More thoughts on movies...

So it was brought to my attention yesterday that I was inattentive to a number of movies that should have been mentioned in my post on required childhood movies.

I didn't so much neglect to mention such movies as Flash Gordon and Conan the Barbarian... It was more a matter of I really do not think that the youth of today is able to appreciate these films fully until they are a bit older.

The field of cinematography has come light years ahead of where it was 25 to 30 years ago. Not to mention acting. I hate to say it but the acting we appreciated back then didn't contain an iota of the subtlety and ease we see today. I think that this is, in part, because we can see things better now. Subtle facial expressions are able to be seen by the cameras and transmitted to us on our massive, trillion pixel screens at home. Actors are no longer required to be over the top to get their emotions across to a raptly squinting audience.

I imagine that it was a harder transition for them to reign themselves in than it has been for us to watch the change.

All that being said, however, there are a number of fantasy genre classics that should be watched by anyone with a love for the genre or even an interest in B-films in general.

To begin with, Flash Gordon. Quite possibly one of the WORST films ever created by man and more importantly, probably the worst film ever forced on us by our friends. This is the first film, in my memory, that was so very very bad that is was a wonder and joy to watch.



I have no idea whether the song was written to go with the movie or if the movie was entirely designed as a vehicle for the song... But I think "Flash" was the absolute best thing to have come out of this film.

And let us not forget about the awe we all felt at the sight of California's Governator swinging that broad sword before him as Conan. The Barbarian in 1982 and then again as the Destroyer in 1984 (the same year as Terminator was first released to us) was a hero to legions of stick wielding young boys. I should warn you though. Whatever you do, don't try too hard to understand the words. Arnold had spent far less time learning English than he had building muscles so the words are all but unintelligible. Not that it really matters. Who needs words getting in the way of a great hack-n-slash? That would be like trying to roleplay a character in 4th edition D&D!

The good news though, is that through Conan we met one of the first true heroines! That's right, Red Sonja was the third installment of this... well... lets call it a trilogy I suppose. (I am not sure if it was meant to be a trilogy but it would seem to have become one, regardless.) This film was the precursor to Buffy, River Tam... Hell! Even She-Ra, coming out later that same year, (1985 for those keeping score) owed something to the warrior goddess brought to us by Brigitte Nielsen.

Hey... I wonder who would win if she ever got into a fight with Zena: Warrior Princess!



Brigitte is still working by the way. There is a film called Big Money Rustlas in post-production and supposedly scheduled for release in 2010. Ron Jeremy is in it too so... Who the hell knows what this one will turn out to be.

Moving right along now...

Krull. 1983 had to take a stab at fantasy and this is what came of it. I have to be honest. I do not own this movie. While a small part of me is sorry to have to admit that fact a larger part thanks me every time I think about it. Krull was not a great movie. But it was a fantasy B-film that everyone ought to see at some point.

And just for the record... The only reason I don't own it is that I would actually watch it. I have no idea if this ever came out on DvD but if it did and I were to own it, there would be a time at least once a year when it caught my eye and I would have to sit down in front of it. About halfway through the left side of my brain would try to kill the right side of my brain and I am not sure how many more of those particular battles I can survive.

And finally, the trilogy to end all trilogies... Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness!



Can't you feel your brain melting, just a little bit?

Everyone in the world needs to see these movies at least once. Bruce Campbell (he is the one with the chin, remember?) is our time traveling hero and his boom-stick is the answer to everything in this life. If you haven't seen them, do so. If you have seen them, don't you think that it is time to see them again? Sally forth! and acquire them any way you can!

Now, keep in mind that I am, in no way, saying that this is the be-all end-all of movie lists for anyone. I have left a million or so titles unlisted and I recognize that my taste and that of others do not always line up.

All I am saying is that time changes things. These are films that I thought were absolutely wonderful growing up and that, with hindsight, I can't imagine feeling the same way about today. I think that today's kids are not going to be quite as able to appreciate these movies as we were. I certainly think that they should be seen but probably not until the kids are older or have developed the proper appreciations.

[Chieftan] Conan! What is best in life?

[Conan] To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

-Conan the Barbarian-