Rivers...

I just had a conversation with a neighbor/friend person I know and something came up that just won't leave my brain alone. I am going to share this with you in the hopes that it helps to quiet the screaming the voices are doing inside my head.

She shared a story wherein she took a friend of hers down to "the river" to go camping. Well, as it turns out this particular water has no water in it. Ergo, no river.

Oh gods did things ever take a turn.

First of all, do not tell me that I am not "country" enough to understand that it's still a river. It is NOT still a river. Rivers have water in them. Rivers HAVE to have water in them. It's what makes them a gods-damned river! If there is no water then it is a dried up river bed. It is not, I repeat NOT still a river when there is no water flowing through it!

That is something like saying to me, "Hey, what do you think of all this rain? Kinda dry, isn't it?"

No! No it isn't fucking dry! It is rain! Rain is water, water is wet! Go to your corner and HIT YOURSELF until you learn something. I don't care what you learn. The important thing is that when you come back to speak to me, you need to be smarter or I can't be held responsible for my actions.

Now... If you want to say something like, "Well, we just all call it the river," fine. You are still wrong but I can accept that you refer to it that way and let it go. But for fucks sake, don't you DARE tell me I am wrong for insisting that a river has water.

Let's go ask Erin at Wordnik again and see what they have to say.

RIVER

1. noun A large natural stream of water emptying into an ocean, lake, or other body of water and usually fed along its course by converging tributaries.
2. noun A stream or abundant flow.

I feel I need to take a moment and point out a couple of key words I noticed in there, just in case you might have missed them...

Item number the first: ~Water~

Item number the second: ~Flow~

I would take a moment to point out the words abundant or stream but then I have to look up more definitions with more words to point out and so on and so on... It would lead to stress, anarchy, plagues of frogs, zombie wars, locusts (::cringe::) and the eventual demise of civilization and I just can't fucking take it.

::Deep breath...::

Alright.

Seriously now though, I could have left it alone if it weren't for the phrase, "You don't know what you're talkin' about. You just aren't country enough..."

This is why people assume country folk are morons!

I have known plenty of people in the south and many more in the country. Some of them have even affected that bumpkin like speech pattern where they sound kind of like they are just too damned lazy to finish forming the words. I have to tell you though, some of those people are pretty damned smart! I will just about guarantee that any one of them can tell me about things I know nothing about.

What I am trying to say here is this. I am a very smart guy but I am more than willing to accept that there are things you know more about than I do. If you would care to correct or educate me on any one of those things, I welcome the chance to expand my personal knowledge. (Alright, honestly I am a bit of a know-it-all. But I swear, once I realize you are right and I am wrong, I will not only admit it but I will then apologize for ever having insisted I was correct in the first place.)

But never, ever, tell me that I am wrong on something that gods damned simple. Especially not when there are any number of ways to look and prove the truth.

So, to sum up... This is a river



This, is not a river.



Did everybody catch the difference? I hope it wasn't too subtle. (Just in case... The second one is DRY!)

You don't drown by falling into water. You drown by staying there.
-Robert Allen-

Perception and Reality...

I think, at this point, that it is largely accepted as fact that our perception shapes our reality. That what I perceive to be true is not necessarily the same as the truth perceived by the person sitting next to me.

I think about this more often than I care to admit. If truth be told, I probably think about it a fair bit more than would probably be considered healthy by some. Even so, I give it a lot of thought.

Just about every time I sit down here to write a blog, I consider how I might be able to discuss reality, perception and truth. Unfortunately, I find that the answer to how I might do that lends itself to the probability that I would need to devote a whole new blog to the topic. Maybe I will do that some day. :p

For now, I want to share something with you that touches on perception and reality at their very root.

I am certain I have mentioned in passing the existance of something called TED talks. TED is the modern day forum where people with great minds and great thoughts gather to share their views on pretty much everything there is. I am not sure I will ever get around to searching the TED database in it's entirety but I do try to watch the talks that appeal to me.

I recommend the site to anyone out there who happens to have an interest in anything. But for now, I am going to share with you a talk I found that relates to the topic at hand.

Enjoy!



Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
-Albert Einstein-

On Dreams and Encouragement...

Every person believes that they are special.

We are reminded over and over again throughout our lives that this is true. Beginning with our parents and grandparents we are told that we can do anything we set our minds to; that we can grow up to be anybody we want.

As we grow, most of us continue to have this reaffirmed to us by teachers, counselors, friends, family and anyone else we meet. Even a complete stranger, when faced with a child looking up at them with their big round eyes, will lend their voice to the masses and tell the child that they are certain to succeed as long as they put their mind to it.

There are, however, some exceptions that deserve to be noted here.

I have known people who grew up in situations that can only be called abusive. In situations like these the child is reminded repeatedly that they are not good enough, will never be good enough and will never succeed. In some more extreme cases, I have even seen people tell their children that they were, not only a mistake, but that the child ruined the life of the parent and that the parent wished the child were never born. (If you ever hear someone say something like this, I expect you to hit them immediately.)

Ain't that some shit.

Now here is where I think that part of the problem begins...

Quite often a person grows up to either emulate their parent(s) or to revile them. In other words, most people either grow to repeat the mistakes that their parents made or to make completely new mistakes by choosing a different course.

I heartily approve of encouraging a child to dream and to reach for the stars. What people need to stop doing is allowing those children to grow up believing that they can achieve anything without educating the child on what they will need to do in order to accomplish their goal.

Too often, it seems, people are growing up and becoming disillusioned with the world around them because they were ill prepared for the challenges of the real world. These are people who were never taught about the work and effort they would have to put forth to succeed. They have gotten to where they are by expecting the world to hand them their dreams simply because they want them to come true!

I think people need to have conversations with their children. By no means should we just shrug off what they say as the fanciful imaginings of youth. If little Sally tells you that she wants to become an Astronaut, find out why. Try to learn what it is that attracts her to the field and, more importantly, what needs to happen for her to get there. Tell Sally about all the hard work she is going to need to do. Most of all, find out what you, as a parent, need to do to help see the dream come true.

When your son, Timmy, approaches you after the school play and tells you he wants to grow up to be an actor the correct answer is not, "Well you did great! You are already the best actor I have ever seen!" nor is "Well, I don't know..." the right thing to say. Instead, try something more honest like, "That's great Tim. You did really well on stage today and I am sure that, with a lot of hard work and the proper training, you could grow up to be brilliant!"

What I mean to say is, don't just tell your kids that they can succeed if they puts their minds to it and, please, don't discourage them. For that matter, if I ever again see a parent laugh maliciously at the dreams of their children, I think that I may just haul off and punch them in the head. (I will then explain to the child that it was what their parent had always wanted and that I was helping to make dreams come true.)

Children need to be appropriately prepared and encouraged. They need to be supported in reaching for their dreams and bolstered by the knowledge of its achievability and how to make the achievement happen.

As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.
-Jack Canfield-

Movies people should know...

It has become painfully obvious to me that the television and movie viewing habits of those more than around five years my junior are sorely lacking.

I blame the parents.

To begin with, I had a girl who, in her twenties (no lie) turned to me with a look of blank puzzlement on her face and asked, "What is Labyrinth?" It was absolutely all I could do to keep myself from bitch slapping her into next week. What is Labyrinth... Are you fucking kidding me?



First of all, you ought to at lease know the word and by the look of puzzlement on your face it appears that every vocabulary teacher you ever had needs to be fired or retrained or maybe shot. Secondly, HOLY SHIT! David Bowie, Jennifer Connelly and, most importantly, JIM HENSON! I mean... Muppet Show? Heard of it? How about Sesame Street. Thats the show with Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird... What?... Yes, Elmo too... Fucking Elmo. Remember when he was just in the background and occasionally annoying?

"I will regret this," I think to myself as I fearlessly plunge onward. "Tell me that you at LEAST know The Dark Crystal."




The look on her face makes a few of my own brain cells commit suicide. I'm not even able to hear the puzzled response, thank god, due to my ears shutting themselves down in self preservation.

By now, of course, there are several others who have joined in on the conversation.

My aching heart begs me to turn to some slightly more main stream titles. Ok, perhaps not exactly main stream, but movies that more or less anyone who breathes should be aware of.

Legend is put forth and greeted with something along the lines of, "That's the one with Will Smith, right?"



This is around when I start to cry. I point out that it has Tom Cruise, Tim Curry ("Who?) and that chick from Ferris Bueller. (Mia Sara for those keeping track. Legend was the only role she played priar to Sloane.) And still the look of stunned disbelief I receive pains me.

"Princess Bride!" I say, truly believing that every person alive needs to have, at the very least, a passing familiarity with the movie. Personally, I think I know just about every line from every character in the film.



Finally I get a hit! At least this one is still known by some of the younger folks. Not known well, mind you, but the awareness of it still floats around somewhere in the back of the collective consiousness. They seem to have no idea who Andre the Giant was outside of the confines or Fezzic and, it pains me greatly to say, are at a complete loss when I mention Mandy Patinkin. But I will accept the win in as much as at least the movie is still known.

Which is more than I can say for such other greats as The Never Ending Story. (The book is rubbish by the way. Keep away from it if you value your love of the film.)



The animated classic, The Last Unicorn. (I mean come on... What child, full of wide eyed wonder, doesn't want to see the magical majesty of animated unicorns?!)



Even movies such as the classically adapted The Three Musketeers barely register with people under around the age of 22!



I mean, that is some of the best written witty humor ever! I like to think that it was writing like this that gave birth to films like The Pirates of the Caribbean! And who doesn't need to know that a chase is properly refreshed by serving a Cabernet and not champagne?!

Revisited classics aren't exempt either! Hook, the re-visitation of Peter Pan, starring the truly genius Robin Williams is rapidly fading from memory!



Now, I don't mean to disparage the newer tales and movies. The majestically forged Lord of the Rings trilogy brought forth a new epoch in fantasy films. Harry Potter disappointed me in the theaters but, hell! It created a complete generation of new readers! The Twilight series doesn't really do much of anything for me but it has done wonders for book sales around the world and has helped maintain the literacy of children across the globe!

What I am saying is this:

Show your kids the new generation of fantasy and fancy films! By all means, watch them yourself! But for the sake of all that is good in film, PLEASE go back and share the stories that began it all! These films are far too wonderful to be lost in antiquity.

You will be glad you did. More importantly, (to me anyway) I will be glad you did. And I won't feel quite so powerful an urge to belt you one when you have no reference to what I am discussing with you. And that is something you will be as thankful for as I am.

Once long ago, before there was such a thing as time, the world was shrouded in darkness.

Then came the splendor of light, bringing life and love into the Universe, and the Lord of Darkness retreated deep into the shadows of the earth, plotting his return to power... Banishing light forever.

But precious light is protected, harbored in the souls of Unicorns, the most mystical of all creatures.

Unicorns are safe from the Lord of Darkness, they can only be found by the purest of mortals... Such a mortal is Jack, who lives in solitude with the animals of the forest.

A beautiful girl named Lily loves Jack with all her heart. In their innocence, they believe only goodness exists in the world.

Together they will learn there can be no good without evil... No love without hate... No heaven without hell... No light without darkness.

The harmony of the Universe depends upon an eternal balance. Out of the struggle to maintain this balance comes the birth of Legends.

-Legend-