New Year, New Plan...

And I was doing so well for a while there...

Last year I worked my ass off to make a lot of positive changes in my life. A number of them even grew into something wonderful before I allowed the stress of work and the holidays to drag me back down into the pits I used to live in.

But no more!

I am back to blogging and I will be doing my best to make this a regular thing again. I am going to do some book reviews for my literary minded readers. (Although, I should warn you, I don't promise to make it about new releases. I expect I will mostly tell you about the books I know and love in an effort to bring some great stories an writers into your lives.) And, as always, I will share my thoughts about whatever else comes to mind.

For the here and now, I just wanted to let you all know I am back to it so you should watch for updates from me again. I am giving myself the goal of posting three times a week from here on out. I am unwilling to go so far as to tell you what days of the week but I will do everything in my power to at least get three posts up between Monday and Sunday.

To that end... If anyone has a topic or thought they would like me to spew forth about, please share them with me! I think it would be fun to try to incorporate some reader feedback as well so, for the love of everything good, please give me some! My comment sections should be for discussion between all of us so don't be afraid to use it!

I guess what I mean is that the new plan is the same as the old plan. Move forward, build momentum, change the world. Even if it is only my little corner of things, I expect the change will be great!

All that being said, I am going to move on for now. I look forward to chatting with you all soon!.

-Me-

P.S. For those whose blogs I follow, I will be catching up and commenting again soon. I have missed you all as much as I hope you have missed me.

A blog is what all websites want to be; updated on a regular basis, contains content that is of interest to a select or target audience, and is easy to update or change.
-Unknown-

NaNoWriMo...

As it turns out, November is National Novel Writing Month. What that means is that every person who has ever even considered writing a novel is being encouraged to spew forth anything they can in an attempt to write a novel between November first and thirtieth.

In other words, no one is going to be reading this post because everyone is too busy putting their every thought in print.

The goal is 175 pages or 50,000 words. Broken down it is about a million words a day.

I have been challenged by several friends (These particular friends shall remain nameless. We will simply call them "the bastards" for the purposes of this post.) to join in the festivities and see what I can come up with.

The bastards are all writing their novels this month as well so, in an effort to avoid looking like a pussy, I have to try as well.

I am starting a little bit late and, so far, have only about 500 words down. I have nothing resembling a plan here so I am going to do what I can with what I already have floating around in my head. For those of you who know me best, that may be more than a little bit scary to think about.

What all this means to you is that blog posts are likely to be intermittent at best. (This is probably true for some of the other blogs you follow as well. Just in case you are wondering where your other favorite blogger has disappeared to.

Have no fear though... I will be popping in here on occasion to bitch about my slow progress and how crappy this unedited shit I am putting out is. Hopefully, as December and January roll around, I will be putting up some more positive posts about how things weren't as bad as I previously thought and how, now that I am editing it, my story may be shaping up into something like a halfway decent pile of shit.

Anyway!

Just thought I would tell you all what I was up to so that you could make fun of me for it. Especially if I don't manage to come through the finish line. (That's right... Do I know how to motivate myself or what!)

In closing, I love you all and hope this whole thing pays out in the long run. Positive energies and all that. Hooray for forward momentum and then like. Be good. Stay out of trouble. And try not to forget to laugh out loud!



There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.
-Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith-

Truth...

I have nothing much to say this time around. I really think it would do each and every one of us good to read/hear/watch this at least once if not every day.

Please. Please pay attention and actually take this in. Please think about it honestly and deeply. Please show it to your friends and ask them to really consider it as well.

Watch this all the way through. Really. It is important.

The world we live in today is scary. We need to change something to save us from ourselves. Maybe, with this, we can start with ourselves and the change can flow outward.

Without further ado, Lost Generation by Jonathan Reed.



I am not going to to end with a quote this time. I am going to beg you, one more time, to share this.

Thank you.

Individualization...

I got an email the other day from my little sister. This fact, in and of itself, was both surprising and pleasing but when I read the message she had sent I had to stop for a few minutes to think of a way to respond.

My sister is 13 years old now and is a freshman in high school. (Yikes! That is scarier than I care to admit.) I was 17 when she was born so, while we may have lived under the same roof for a few years, we were never exactly close as siblings. By the time she was old enough to be self aware I had already stared striking out to begin my own life. In fact, over the last few years, I have seen her only when I have been able to fly back home for my (rather infrequent) visits.

Not withstanding our lack of closeness, I have always held at least a modicum of sway over her tastes and preferences. I mean, I introduced her to Rocky Horror Picture Show when she was around three and she keeps viewing it regularly this day. (Note to self: Check with sister to learn current number of viewings to date.)

I also helped formulate her musical tastes by introducing her to music I myself enjoy. Perhaps it isn't surprising that she sent me a message asking me for feedback and ideas pertaining to new music that she should listen to and enjoy. What was surprising was the reason...

Apparently, my sister is striving to become an individual. She wants to set herself apart from her peers by having her own tastes and such.

I can get behind that to a point so I sent her some ideas. I recommended listening to several different musical genres that are less mainstream than she would generally hear on the radio. In particular, I mentioned show-tunes (a long time favorite of mine), along with classical and opera as being something new for her to check. I also recommended that she listen to some oldies just because, well, they are awesome and I think everyone ought to be able to find some kind of oldies to enjoy. Hell... If it has withstood the years and is still something people want to hear then there almost has to be something in it worth listening to!

Anyway, all that being said I think that there is something more important to keep in mind. Being an individual means more than just liking things that other people don't like or are unexposed to. Being an individual does encompass that but it is also having the courage and strength of character to hold to your own personal preferences. That includes the times when everyone else likes it too.

Just because everyone likes something does not devalue it as a thing to like. Distinguishing yourself as an individual by disregarding that in which others see merit is both ignorant and stunting. (I considered making a goth or indie dig here... Something regarding the uniform of non-conformity or some-such nonsense... But then I realized it would open a whole other can of worms that I just don't have the attention span to tackle right now.)

Not that you have to like things because everyone does. That is just ignorance in the opposite (and more frequent) direction. All I am saying is that, before disregarding something based on the preference of others, a person owes it to themselves to give it their attention and thought in an effort to decide for themselves whether or not they can see it's merit.

I suppose that what it comes down to is that individualism is something that is based solely on self. If you really truly wish to be an individual then you have to be honest, introspective and strong.

In other words...

You have to like what you like without regard to the opinions of others.

And let's face it here... Ignorance is no bar to individualism. Not knowing something is not the same as pretending that you either do or do not like something.

Yeah... I think I had it right... Honest, introspective and strong (courageous?) enough to hold tight to your own individual truth.

It is nice if you can do all that without trying to ram your opinions down the throats of others too. Doing so doesn't disqualify you from the "I'm an Individual" club... But it does grant you membership to the "I'm an Individual Who Thinks My Opinion is Better than Yours" club. I like to call that one "I Need My Ass Kicked" for short.

And for fucks sake... If you ever hear yourself utter the words, "In my humble opinion," please... Just stop there. If it is humble keep it to yourself. If you think it is worth sharing, well then, it isn't humble. That's fine, really, but don't bloody well lie about it. You aren't fooling anyone, you know.

It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.
-Giordano Bruno-

Embracing Me...

I have spent the last ten or twelve years in retail. The majority of that time has been in management positions and of bookstores and coffee houses. (Yes, coffee is retail, not food service and anyone who says otherwise has absolutely no idea what they are talking about.)

The application of these two statements basically breaks down to the following...

No visible tattoos. Collared shirts. Khaki or black pants. Close toed shoes... No visible sign of personality lest ye inadvertently give offense.

Fuck. That. Noise.

It is about time for me to get the hell out of retail in any case and, frankly, I am sick and tired of having a black, white and tan striped closet.

Inevitably, this leads me to an outstanding need for a new wardrobe and, hopefully, some new ink not too far down the road.

Of course... I have absolutely no sense of style so the shopping trip I just went on is probably not going to improve my image any... But at least I am willing to embrace my personality.

Personality has the power to open many doors, but character must keep them open.
-Anonymous-

On Dreams and Encouragement...

Every person believes that they are special.

We are reminded over and over again throughout our lives that this is true. Beginning with our parents and grandparents we are told that we can do anything we set our minds to; that we can grow up to be anybody we want.

As we grow, most of us continue to have this reaffirmed to us by teachers, counselors, friends, family and anyone else we meet. Even a complete stranger, when faced with a child looking up at them with their big round eyes, will lend their voice to the masses and tell the child that they are certain to succeed as long as they put their mind to it.

There are, however, some exceptions that deserve to be noted here.

I have known people who grew up in situations that can only be called abusive. In situations like these the child is reminded repeatedly that they are not good enough, will never be good enough and will never succeed. In some more extreme cases, I have even seen people tell their children that they were, not only a mistake, but that the child ruined the life of the parent and that the parent wished the child were never born. (If you ever hear someone say something like this, I expect you to hit them immediately.)

Ain't that some shit.

Now here is where I think that part of the problem begins...

Quite often a person grows up to either emulate their parent(s) or to revile them. In other words, most people either grow to repeat the mistakes that their parents made or to make completely new mistakes by choosing a different course.

I heartily approve of encouraging a child to dream and to reach for the stars. What people need to stop doing is allowing those children to grow up believing that they can achieve anything without educating the child on what they will need to do in order to accomplish their goal.

Too often, it seems, people are growing up and becoming disillusioned with the world around them because they were ill prepared for the challenges of the real world. These are people who were never taught about the work and effort they would have to put forth to succeed. They have gotten to where they are by expecting the world to hand them their dreams simply because they want them to come true!

I think people need to have conversations with their children. By no means should we just shrug off what they say as the fanciful imaginings of youth. If little Sally tells you that she wants to become an Astronaut, find out why. Try to learn what it is that attracts her to the field and, more importantly, what needs to happen for her to get there. Tell Sally about all the hard work she is going to need to do. Most of all, find out what you, as a parent, need to do to help see the dream come true.

When your son, Timmy, approaches you after the school play and tells you he wants to grow up to be an actor the correct answer is not, "Well you did great! You are already the best actor I have ever seen!" nor is "Well, I don't know..." the right thing to say. Instead, try something more honest like, "That's great Tim. You did really well on stage today and I am sure that, with a lot of hard work and the proper training, you could grow up to be brilliant!"

What I mean to say is, don't just tell your kids that they can succeed if they puts their minds to it and, please, don't discourage them. For that matter, if I ever again see a parent laugh maliciously at the dreams of their children, I think that I may just haul off and punch them in the head. (I will then explain to the child that it was what their parent had always wanted and that I was helping to make dreams come true.)

Children need to be appropriately prepared and encouraged. They need to be supported in reaching for their dreams and bolstered by the knowledge of its achievability and how to make the achievement happen.

As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.
-Jack Canfield-

Making Change Happen...

By now, I think I have made it abundantly clear through my posts that I am making a concerted effort to make positive changes happen in my life. A good bit of that change is happening here, on the intarwubbies, but some is happening in the real world as well.

For example, I had my roommate cut my hair for me the other day. It is something I am still cringing about but it is a positive change. I prefer to keep my hair long but, with my work schedule being what it is (i.e. being at work at 5 am most mornings), I just don't have the time to take care of it. I can grow it out again when my life is more in line with doing so. Looking all ratty just isn't going to work for me anymore. (There! I said it!)

I am also making an attempt at quitting smoking. I've gotten a prescription for Chantix. (Through use of networking :p... I have no regular doctor and no money to spare so I went through channels to achieve a goal. Yay!) Additionally, I have some of the patch sitting around that I may attempt to make use of if it seems to be something that will help me out. The plan is to stop smoking for the dual benefits of better health and better cash flow.

Also in regards to better health is getting more exercise. It is finally cooling down a little bit outside, (By cooling down I mean in the 70s and 80s versus topping out at over a hundred!) so I am going to start walking more again and I am going to make it a point to do some time on my exercise bike each day. Of course, I am planning to succeed so I am not going insane with my goals. To start with I am only going to aim to be on the bike for 10 to 15 minutes at a clip but as I succeed and settle into a routine I will increase the time.

In essence, what I am doing here and now is formalizing the goals that I have set out for myself. My hope is that, by putting this all in print, I will make it more solid and help myself to achieve what I am putting before me. It will also serve to update those who are reading this to know what I am up to and it will (hopefully) solicit support from those who are more intimately involved in my life these days. (coughHINT!cough)

Gods know I can use all the positive reinforcement I can get.

Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not remain so if you only perceive an ideal and strive to reach it. You cannot travel within and stand still without.
-James Allen-

Momentum...

Momentum is a funny and scary thing. It all goes back to two key facts that, I think, most of us learned back in elementary school.

1. An object in motion stays in motion.

and

2. Every action causes an equal and opposite reaction.

You remember this little thing, right? Come on... You know you had one.

Time and again it has been brought home to us that these two truisms are always going to be and that there is not a damned thing we can do about them.

So, of course, the next question is; How do we harness them?

I have seen diagrams and designs for perpetual motion engines using springs and elastics and any number of other things but what I am talking about is something that is a little bit more true to life for each of us.

Personally, I have lost track of how many times I have allowed myself to be caught up in the whirlwind of events taking place around me. I have been dragged behind trains of events and mercilessly trampled under the horses of emotion. The bottom line, though, is that, each time, I have allowed events and circumstances to push me into a position where all I could do is allow the storm to wash over me.

Well, all I would do, anyway...

Now I am trying something different. I am not just allowing myself to drift through the chaotic seas of life but, instead, I am offering up my own momentum. I have begun shaping the storm and harnessing its energy into something that, ultimately, will turn to my advantage.

The internet is a tool. Millions of us spend time each day floating through cyberspace, surfing on the waves of thought that have been compiled for our perusal. This blog (along with the other social media sites that I am working on) is my little corner. This is where I am attempting to manipulate the current in such a way that I will no longer be just a casual traveler but, instead, a destination in my own right.

As I grow my little corner of the world into something more substantial, this will be the cornerstone of my empire. From this outcropping will stem a steady flow of creativity and content that will draw others into my wake and allow me a stepping stone into the next stage of my life.

This is perpetual motion.

This is the beginning of my momentum.

This is where I launch my life.

The most important thing you can do to achieve your goals is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to create momentum. The most important rules that I ever adopted to help me in achieving my goals were those I learned from a very successful man who taught me to first write down the goal, and then to never leave the site of setting a goal without first taking some kind of positive action towards its attainment.
-Anthony Robbins-

Living games...

I have been gaming for over two decades now. Scary. In fact, it has been one of the very few constants in my life! (And by constant I mean that, while it may have been shoved into the background on occasion, it was always an underlying motivator at the very least.)

Let me tell you a story...

It all began when I was an innocent young lad. (Waits impatiently, glaring, for the laughter to die down.) My days were lazy and carefree. My parents owned a house close to a beach in a small community in Connecticut. We weren't right on the water but we were close enough that I was able to sneak off for a swim with my friends whenever I thought my parents weren't going to be paying attention for a while. (To tell the truth, I was probably caught more often than I got away with it but, well, I loved being in the water.)

Our story begins on the dawn of my eighth birthday. I awoke at 6 am to my father yelling at me to get the hell out of bed and get dressed. (No one is allowed to sleep in on their birthdays in my family.) It was time for us to go have my birthday breakfast. (Bacon egg and cheese biscuts from McDonalds. My father is a man of exquisite tastes.)

As we ate, my mother (who had likewise been woken up so she would know she wasn't coming with us to McDonalds) was at home hiding my birthday presents from me. This was a game my parents liked to play with us as children. They would hide the presents and you had to find them before you could have them. It saved them the cost of wrapping paper and, if you didn't manage to find them all, they could return them to the store and we would be none the wiser. (I actually think that this threat may have been followed through on once or twice. Either that or my brothers stole some of my birthday loot and my parents never caught on.)

When my father and I returned I was allowed to begin my search.

Step one. Check all the places they used last year. This plan of attack yielded me nothing so I sat down to reassess and redeploy.

Step two. Search the common areas like the living room and dining room. Our house wasn't big but it had about a million nooks and crannies. By the time I was done with these first two steps I had wasted about an hour and was still no closer to my birthday presents.

Step Three. My bedroom. This is where I struck gold! Right there in the middle of my desk was a beautiful red box with a dragon on the front! I was immediately enthralled. I had always been a fan of the fantasy genre and dragons and unicorns were my bread and butter. I tore into that package and started flipping through the books inside as fast as I could. When I noticed the dice (and what dice they were!) I was hooked. It wasn't until almost three hours had passed when it occurred to me that I hadn't had a desk the day before. (My parents thought the desk was going to be my big gift that year... Shows what they knew! :P )

It took a few weeks of asking every person that I knew as well as more strangers than I care to count, (note: People give you extremely strange looks when you approach them in a grocery store to ask whether they play Dungeons & Dragons.) but, eventually, I found a group of kids in my neighborhood to play with. (They were all older than me. My parents had missed the line on the box saying "for ages 12 and up")

That first game was amazing! I rolled up a fighter! (Being 8 years old and the youngest one in the group I wasn't expected to understand all the rules for magic yet.) I was strong and not very bright but I had a sword and armor and I was ready to kill things!

Skeletons shattered at the heavy blows I rained down on them. (Remember THAC0?)

The magic mouth was confounded when the wizard, not only knew the answer to it's riddle, but was able to stump it with a riddle in return.

The cleric saved us all when he turned the zombie lurching in our direction while we daringly fended off the group of goblins we had stumbled into.

And when, at last, we found the Dragon, slumbering atop his horde of riches... We all died horrible, screaming deaths the likes of which none of us would ever know again. (After that first time, everyone realized that n00blet characters had no business trying to hit things with negative ACs. If only we had understood THAC0 from the start!)

Dungeons & Dragons. What a perception altering tool to give to an eight year old! For years I was intoxicated by the game. Other games have come and gone through the years but, inevitably, I always return to that one tried and true first love.

Eventually, as time went on, I was introduced to other games. GURPS, Vampire the Masquerade, Shadowrun... The list seems to go on forever as I glance back at my library of gaming books. (Seriously... It's a freaking library. No joke.)

Eventually, I developed an interest for video games.

Oh sure, I had had an Atari 2600, (I still do in fact. Eat your hearts out gamers! :p) but that wasn't a video game. At least not when compared to the new and exciting world of Mario Brothers!

Now, I won't claim to be a gaming guru. I mean at this point I don't even own a television set, let alone a console game. Even so, I was pretty avid as a teenager and even into my early twenties. Still, table-top paper and dice games were where my heart lived.

Thankfully, as I grew and matured (Glares at the audience waiting for the snickering to die down.) so did my gaming style. Hack and slash became a thing of yesteryear and role playing took its place.

Role playing... What a thing of beauty! To become someone else... To sit and envision an entire life! (It was like having my very own baby. You know... Without the diapers, spit-up, crying or, really, any of the other drawbacks to actually having my very own baby.) This was when all those other gaming systems I mentioned became a big draw for me. Games built on social interactions, political stories, and plot or character driven stories as opposed to the old brute force method of gaming.

Now, just so you understand, I am not only a gamer. In high school I found myself involved in theater. Role playing became acting and, eventually, I even went away to college for it. I double majored in Theatrical and Musical performances with minors in English, philosophy and psychology. I was even good enough at doing what I do that they payed for me to be there! (Yup. I have a little pride in that.) What all of that adds up to is that I can become anyone and convince you that I am, indeed, that character. Unfortunately, I am still searching for ways to turn all that into making an actual living. (There is grifting but, well, I just have this aversion to ever going to jail.) But hey, at least I got some skills and had a great time! (Skillz, I haz em!)

And through it all, Dungeons & Dragons was there. Just waiting for those times when I really needed to get back to basics and kill some shit!

When PC games started getting big I was all over it. I had played FFVII but this new, interactive community... The Massively Multiplayer games... This was special! This was like... Animated Dungeons & Dragons! With even MORE people to play with! My first love had come back to me and she loved me still, with all her heart!

I reveled in this new and exciting world, hopping from game to game... Learning mechanics... Memorizing lore... Writing backgrounds and storylines for characters who finally had an enthralled and captivated audience.

By now, I have played so many different MMOs and told so many stories that I couldn't name all of them if I wanted to. Some I have loved; some hated. Some for years on end and others for only a day or two before realizing that I didn't fit in their world or, sometimes, that they didn't fit into mine.

These days, there are actually a couple releases coming up soon that I am genuinely excited about! (Specifically Aion: The Tower of Eternity and the rebirth of World of Warcraft with their new expansion, Cataclysm... If anyone knows whether Blizzard has announced a date yet, let me know.)

Last year, Wizards of the Coast released Dungeons & Dragons 4th edition. Like millions of others, I rushed to the bookstore on release day to buy my copy of the core books and I was genuinely excited. I mean, who wouldn't be beside themselves with glee to see the love of their life grow and become all that it had to potential to be?

That very same week my friends and I began play testing this new system. Things had been realigned in an effort to appeal to a new generation of gamers who had started out with MMOs and were just now discovering the joys of my humble beginnings. Fighters were finally a playable class again! (They had long since became boring for me. There are only so many times I can hit something with a sword before I start feeling like a one trick pony.) With new "powers" driven combat the game was reborn into a world where it could be better appreciated by a much larger audience.

Unfortunately, it has done less well among those of us who have mostly outgrown hack and slash. (Mostly but never entirely :D)

These days, I am far from alone in enjoying the role playing aspect of gaming. This new system is absolutely phenomenal for combat but it is woefully, poorly designed for RP. There is no system in place to effectively progress a character without becoming involved in what, for all intents and purposes, can only be considered grinding.

Le sigh.

I still love Dungeons and Dragons but I think that, for now, maybe a GURPS based campaign is going to better suit my paper and dice group. If that doesn't work for us, maybe I will take a turn at DMing and introduce everybody to the wonderful world of Shadowrun.

In the mean time...

MMO mechanics belong in MMOs and while I will always belong to the table top arena in many ways, I also realize that I belong in the MMO world!

I have come to thrive in the online communities where I can act out my toons. I have met some wonderful people and friends there who have enjoyed meeting my characters and playing their parts in the continuously unfolding stories that I tell with my characters. (And I have equally enjoyed playing my roles in their stories. Yay for symbiotic relationships!)

Eventually, I would like to design worlds and stories for even more people to play and interact in. My mind is constantly churning with ideas for stories, characters and plot twists. What better place for me than lovingly watching over a world of my own devising as thousands, maybe even millions of other players likewise enjoy the wonders and enchantments of my love-child? (Insert maniacal laughter here.)

Obviously, I have to start a good deal smaller than that but I am a tenacious little bugger sometimes (Alright, fine. A big bugger. Happy?) and I am more than willing to work my way there. In fact, I look forward to it!

Now to get started...

You can like train a n00b but he'll still be like a trained n00b.
-Jeremy from Pure Pwnage-

The World has issues... Episode 1...

Alrighty! This is my take on one of the ways that the World has gone all wonky!

Today's topic?... Spirituality.

It seems to me that this is one of those key elements indicative of an individual's humanity. Sadly, it seems that it is also sorely lacking throughout much of today's society.

Let me see if I can explain.

First of all, let me say right off the bat that I am not Christian.

I am also not Catholic, Protestant, Atheist, Buddhist or Wiccan. Hell, if I am going to be honest here, my spirituality and beliefs fail to line up with any particular established set out there.

So where does that leave me?

Well... In most situations I use the word Pagan because it tends to cover a wide variety of belief systems, many of which I draw from in an effort to define my own spirituality. Maybe spiritualist would be a better term but I hate to come across all new agey.

The bottom line here, however, is that I am a spiritual individual. Not as deeply spiritual as I used to be but spiritual none-the-less.

Alright then... Why am I saying that spirituality is something that has gone wrong with the world?

Because it occurs to me that most people are lacking in this area. I mean, people swear to have faith and live by His word and all that but, for the most part, it appears to be an empty faith. People are told to do this, not do that and believe in this because it is what He wants. "You have to have faith," they say. "Have faith and He will deliver you."

Only on rare occasions have I met someone who truly felt and believed in all of this. More often than not, it seems, people go to church on Sunday, not because they know deep down in their souls that it is right, but because they have been told that it is right and they never thought about it again from that moment to this.

Even more distressing to me are the number of people I have seen desperately seeking for something that felt right to them and wound up clinging with all their might to the elusive olive branch offered to them from this or that religious institution. It seems as though the shoeless man will wear any shoe, regardless of size, provided it means he no longer has to go barefoot.

It looks, to my eyes, as if religion has taken up a post as Keeper of the Void. People have come so very very far from our animalistic roots that something basic is now missing and rather than look deep inside of ourselves to see that void and learn best how to recapture that missing essence, we turn to religion as a crutch or a bandaid.

Now, I am not saying that religion is bad. If you have faith in something, by all means keep it close to your heart and never let anyone tell you that you are wrong. What I am saying, is that faith is not the only ingredient. There is more missing from us than words and ritual can replace.

For example, look at the food we eat. Not only is a hardy portion of it unnatural but there are words in ingredient lists that 9 out of 10 people can't even identify! And as if that weren't bad enough, those people who strive to maintain an organic diet are ridiculed for doing so. The same thing goes for vegetarians and vegans. It is more than a little bit distressing that those people who are doing their damnedest to live a healthy, natural lifestyle are being put down by people who are living lives so far removed from nature that they no longer have so much as a frame of reference.

Hell, I am as guilty of this as anyone and still it disgusts me. I really need to try to keep that in check.

Please understand that I am not a health food nut. I eat the same crap most other Americans eat. All I am saying is that I can see where the desire and need is coming from. In a way, it is almost as much a religion as Catholicism. It is choosing to live a life style based on the truths held closest to someone's heart. Seems to me as if they are more or less the same thing.

Need another example? Talk to your parents... Hell talk to THEIR parents and ask them what community means. Friends? Family? Probably not followers...

Social media is an absolutely wonderful thing but once again, it is only guarding a void.

At this point, so many people live their lives through the internet that it is a wonder anyone goes out of their houses anymore. I for one, have friends I would never have known if it weren't for this machine. I mean GODS! I live with a person I met playing World of Warcraft!

I think my Grandfather would be appalled. (Of course, he would have to bite me and get over it but that isn't the point I am trying to make today.)

When my parents grew up, their friends were the people they knew from school. Everyone was in the same geographical location and, unless they had close ties to family elsewhere, that was their world. Their family were the people related to them and that they knew in person.

Followers weren't even something that existed back then. (Unless you knew some o' them freaks up the block what wears der funny lookin' robes an' calls 'emselves the Followers o' Brother Zeke or some such nonsense. Don't go near em', don't talk to 'em, don't meet their eyes, and whatever you do, don't drink their Koolaid!)

Now each of us has a million followers on Twitter, 497 friends on Facebook and Myspace, and my family are people who are 2000 miles or more away and who I talk to once a week on a phone I keep in my pocket. Shit, I get to watch my sister grow up on Skype for fucks sake!

My community is made up of thousands of people I have never even met. Yet, I don't think that I know more than a handful of my neighbors and I have lived here for well over two years now.

Once again, let me point out that I do not mean to disparage these wonderful social networking tools we have arrayed before us. I use them daily and I have no intentions of giving them up. I am merely trying to find ways to illustrate how our spirituality is suffering from the fact that we have moved so very very far from our roots in nature.

Albert Einstein is quoted as having said, "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."

Spiritualism, I think, is an extension of the closeness we feel with the world around us; An extension of our humanity and as we have grown farther and farther apart we have lost something so basic that most people don't even realize that it is missing.

Maybe it is time we stop and examine that a little bit.

I'm just sayin'.

The gross heathenism of civilization has generally destroyed nature, and poetry, and all that is spiritual.
-John Muir, letter to J.B. McChesney, 19 September 1871-

In Which I am Introduced...

Alright then! I have been here for around a week and I have posted various blogs already. I figure that I may as well introduce myself now that I have made an impression. (I hope... I mean, you are still reading right?)

That being the case... My name is Franklin. (Frank to those who know me and a variety of other names to those who know me best.) I am 30 years old and currently living in Austin, Texas. Previously, I lived a year in Tennessee (more than that if you include when I was there for college), and most of my life in Connecticut. I was born breach in Germany to American parents. (Breach means backwards or butt first. What can I say? I guess I have always been slightly unconventional.)

I have 4 cats, the best roommate I could ever hope for, 3 siblings, 3 step-siblings, some parents and grand-parents back home and friends from everywhere I have been that I try to keep in touch with and fail more than I like to admit. (This is for all of you guys too... Call me :P)

I have a very strong personalty that I try to keep in check. I am strong willed, tenacious, occasionally gruff and often funny.

I am, contrary to popular belief, a fairly optimistic person. I don't necessarily think that things will turn out for the best, but I know that things right now are never as bad as most people want to believe and I am always willing to allow for the fact that things are going to improve.

My Personal Mission Statement:

I value creativity and ingenuity because they are two of the most important skills I have observed in people who are happy with where their lives are leading them. Accordingly, I will strive to appreciate and enjoy beauty, humor and unconventionalism in an effort to gain new perspective on my life as I work toward moving into a new direction.

My Personal Professional Bio:

Franklin is a customer service professional who has set himself apart time and again by successfully leading teams through challenges and emerging at the top of his game. His strong example is supported by a hard-working, trustworthy personality that is always ready to embrace any change or challenge. These days, Franklin is working diligently at establishing himself as a free-thinking web presence with a new and keen outlook on many of the challenges facing the tech-savvy entertainment consumer.

Why am I here and what do I think I'm doing?

Well, since I am asking this question of myself, I suppose I have to consider that a fair question. I am here in an effort to establish myself in the web community. My goals are to grow and mature in a new atmosphere where my thoughts and creativity can set me apart. Ultimately, I hope to leverage my presence here, in this series of tubes invented by Al Gore, to find a position with a company that will allow and encourage my creative juices to flow. (cough gaming!-industry! cough)

This blog... You know, the one you are reading right now... will be a place for me to share my thoughts and my points-of-view with anyone interested in reading them. Obviously, those thoughts tend to run over a plethora of topics so this is where you can turn for pretty much anything. If you have questions for me I encourage you to ask them; topics, I encourage you to share them. If you disagree with an observation I make, I encourage you to share your point of view. All I ask is that if you are going to offer a differing opinion, please don't be confrontational about it. Remember you are here by your own choice and if you feel the need to get belligerent, please take it elsewhere.

Obviously I am willing to accept constructive criticism. By constructive I mean tell me what you think I can do better. Not just things like "this sucks" or "that is stupid". Those kinds of criticism do nothing to help me make things better and are therefore pretty much useless to me. If you want to tell me I am doing something right I will happily take that feedback as well. Like anyone, I need encouragement as much or more than I need criticism.

The importance of having a role model...

So... For no particular reason, it occurred to me today that when people grow up they tend to base themselves off of a role-model.

And then I followed that thought through to "Well then, who was my role model?"... Sadly enough it turns out that I dont think that I ever really had one.

I know most people tend to look up to their parents. Boys will grow up to be like their fathers and marry girls like their mothers... Girls will look for boys who can compare to daddy and copy all of moms recipes...

As it turns out that isn't at all what happened with me.

I mean, I do tend to call my mother on occasion for a recipe but in no way do I want a girl like mom... As for my father... Well, I found more instances of "Gods, I hope I can keep myself from ever becoming like that!" than anything else.

So who have I looked up to all my life?...

No one in particular.

I have met many people I admired though and I have tried to emulate the characteristics I found admirable in each of them. Not always with the success I hoped for but the effort and intent was there.

And so I am a hodgepodge of characteristics i found in other people. I took this from this friend or that from the other... Sometimes even just little things from that guy I met the other night who really seemed to have his shit in order in regards to some particular thing...

I think now that I am lacking in some ways because of this.

I was taught manners as a child but never etiquette.

I know everything about performing or working on stage... But I never have really learned to dance.

I know how to think and Im pretty bloody good at it but I have never had anyone there as a constant for long enough to have learned which things to think about.

I am a damned fine friend to those I hold dear and learning how to do that was a long and tiresome process filled with pitfalls and some rather large mistakes.

Frankly, Im pretty good at a lot of things... Outstanding at some and passable at others but, all in all, I can do pretty much what needs to be done.

I think part of where I have made mistakes is that... Not only are certain things in my personal education lacking... But some of the things I have seen in others and thought "I definitely do NOT want that to be me" have never grown into anything but that... There are things that I know beyond doubt that I do not want to be but that doesn't mean that I want to be the opposite. There are just some things I have never found the right answer to.

And that's why people should probably have a role model or two... Someone or someones to look at as a complete individual rather than just collecting parts of a whole.

So, I suppose what it comes down to is that I spent the day sitting in the back of my mind and examining my flaws.

I am not saying that I do not like who I am ... Only that I have realized that there are still parts of me waiting to be created.

Maybe it is time for me to get on that.

You know... Now that I know.

-me-


In closing... A quote that I have been fixated on for the past little bit...

"Where do I belong?
Where do I fit?
Who are my people?
Where do my loyalties lie?

We all choose our tribe.
Its that need to belong... To live within boundaries... Because its scary on the outside... On the fringes.

Some labels are forced on us.
They mark us... Set us apart until we are like ghosts... Just... drifting through other peoples lives.

But only if we let the labels hold.

You can piss your whole life away trying out who you might be.

It's when you've worked out who you ARE... That you can really start to live."

-From Being Human