This is a video I was aware of long ago and an old friend of mine just reminded me of it's existence. It is fairly short so I invite you to take a quick look now, before reading on.
Gods, how I love that reality. It serves me as a reminder of just how much I am looking forward to living my life as an old man.
It also works wonders, I think, in reminding us all to have some bloody fun in our every day lives. Now, I am not telling you to go out and get a spare steering wheel or anything... But if you happen to have one laying around somewhere, could I maybe borrow it?
Seriously though folks... There isn't a whole lot of point to living our day to day lives if we don't have any joy in them. Go out and find some and remind yourself to enjoy living!
Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.
Shared pain is lessened; shared joy is increased.
-Swedish Proverb and it's transition to the motto of Callahan's Place from the mind of Spider Robinson-
Showing posts with label Growing Up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Growing Up. Show all posts
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Friday, November 27, 2009
Stone soup...
Everybody, I hope, has heard the story of stone soup.
You remember...
The story is the one in which everybody in the village or wherever is getting pretty hungry because no one's crops did very well that year. One day, random-lady-A starts telling everyone how she is going to make an old family recipe called stone soup. Stone soup is this wonderful concoction her great-great-great grandmother created. It never comes out quite the same way twice because you just throw in a little of whatever you happen to have on hand but it invariably comes out as a wonderfully flavorful dish that everyone enjoys.
Well, as the story goes on, all these neighbors she has been talking to start salivating and, soon enough, everyone around has a hankerin' to try this stone soup stuff. One by one the neighbors start to surreptitiously show up at the house as she cooks. Each of them, as they arrive, just happens to have something with them to add to the soup. One person has carrots, another some broccoli. Hank, from down the way, brought a rabbit that he had caught earlier that day. I like to think that the chef of our story breathed out a heavy sigh of relief when, finally, Delores comes in with a couple heads of garlic...
Obviously, as each person comes in the house, another ingredient is added to the pot. Everyone is being social and the excitement over the soup continues to grow. In time, this glorious soup takes a shape spiced by friendship and flavored with love. Everyone gets to have some and, more importantly, everybody leaves full and more than satisfied. Hank even gets to take some home for his dog.
The moral of the story as I understand it is not, as some of you may think, that a woman with a rock and a well gets to eat for free. Rather, it comes down, basically, to the fact that there is wealth to be found in friendship and that love and camaraderie is enough to sustain us.
I don't know exactly how I feel about all that but I was afforded the opportunity earlier today to create and serve a communal meal.
It was pretty neat to get to take ingredients from different households and combine them to make a meal to share amongst a group. Each of us added something to the concoction and, when everything was said and done, all of us got to share a delicious meal with friends where everyone was able to contribute.
It was fun.
I look forward to doing communal meals again in the future and I will let y'all know how it comes together.
Cooking is like making love, you do it well, or you do not do it as all.
-Harriet van Horne-
Note to readers... I am aware of the fact that there are dozens of versions of the story of stone soup. I have read some involving a soldier or even a small group of soldiers. I even remember one from when I was a kid where the chef in the story was a hen. In my world, it was the same Little Led Hen who baked bread all by her self in an effort to teach the other farm animals not to be lazy bastards.
You remember...
The story is the one in which everybody in the village or wherever is getting pretty hungry because no one's crops did very well that year. One day, random-lady-A starts telling everyone how she is going to make an old family recipe called stone soup. Stone soup is this wonderful concoction her great-great-great grandmother created. It never comes out quite the same way twice because you just throw in a little of whatever you happen to have on hand but it invariably comes out as a wonderfully flavorful dish that everyone enjoys.
Well, as the story goes on, all these neighbors she has been talking to start salivating and, soon enough, everyone around has a hankerin' to try this stone soup stuff. One by one the neighbors start to surreptitiously show up at the house as she cooks. Each of them, as they arrive, just happens to have something with them to add to the soup. One person has carrots, another some broccoli. Hank, from down the way, brought a rabbit that he had caught earlier that day. I like to think that the chef of our story breathed out a heavy sigh of relief when, finally, Delores comes in with a couple heads of garlic...
Obviously, as each person comes in the house, another ingredient is added to the pot. Everyone is being social and the excitement over the soup continues to grow. In time, this glorious soup takes a shape spiced by friendship and flavored with love. Everyone gets to have some and, more importantly, everybody leaves full and more than satisfied. Hank even gets to take some home for his dog.
The moral of the story as I understand it is not, as some of you may think, that a woman with a rock and a well gets to eat for free. Rather, it comes down, basically, to the fact that there is wealth to be found in friendship and that love and camaraderie is enough to sustain us.
I don't know exactly how I feel about all that but I was afforded the opportunity earlier today to create and serve a communal meal.
It was pretty neat to get to take ingredients from different households and combine them to make a meal to share amongst a group. Each of us added something to the concoction and, when everything was said and done, all of us got to share a delicious meal with friends where everyone was able to contribute.
It was fun.
I look forward to doing communal meals again in the future and I will let y'all know how it comes together.
Cooking is like making love, you do it well, or you do not do it as all.
-Harriet van Horne-
Note to readers... I am aware of the fact that there are dozens of versions of the story of stone soup. I have read some involving a soldier or even a small group of soldiers. I even remember one from when I was a kid where the chef in the story was a hen. In my world, it was the same Little Led Hen who baked bread all by her self in an effort to teach the other farm animals not to be lazy bastards.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I Believe...
I believe in magic. I believe it is there for us to harness and ride as soon as we accept it as real. I believe we should get on that, before it's too late.
I believe Dragons and Unicorns are constantly lurking just around the next bend. I believe we can see them if we just remember how to look properly.
I believe that friends are the most important thing and that to have friends means to be a friend.
I believe that whatever we set our minds to is, indeed, possible. I do not believe that there are limits to this fact. I also believe that those people who do strive to put limits to this should be kept away from the rest of us because they are dragging our asses down.
I believe that we can be who we want simply because we want to. Furthermore, I believe that anyone who tries to tell us it is wrong to be who we are, should be beaten with a stick until they come around or cease inhabiting our universe; whichever comes first.
I believe that hard work and dedication can overcome all obstacles. I believe that, properly recognized and encouraged, a person who shows themselves to be capable of both traits can rule their world with an iron fist balanced by ultimate tenderness.
I believe that all problems can be solved. I believe that human ingenuity is such that, by bending our will to a problem, we can overcome the insurmountable.
I believe that anything is possible. I believe that in our trek to the stars, we will confront our limits and exceed them on the strength of our sheer stubbornness alone.
I believe in monsters. I believe they are hiding just out of sight to ruthlessly pounce on the unwary. I believe that, armed with a fire poker, said monster can be permanently banished.
I believe that the world is full of stupid people who are unaware of their own stupidity. I believe that, every once in a while, every single one of us is guilty of being one of those stupid people. I believe our truest friends should smack us with a rolled up newspaper whenever we cross that line.
I believe that love is real and in many guises. I believe that love is returned to us by its very recognition. I believe that, when we find someone we love, we should cherish them and go out of our way to keep them safe; not sheltered.
I believe that smothering someone is just as dangerous as ignoring them. I believe that the adage, "Keep thy friends close and thine enemy closer," deserves to be reinterpreted as "try to befriend everyone".
I believe in fairies. I believe they are closer than we believe and more substantial than we imagine. I believe their headquarters is just up the way, beyond the deer-head in the road. I believe the wisest course is to heed the warning.
I believe that kindness is not always the best course. I believe that kindness can be a hindrance in large enough quantities and that it should be carefully tempered by truth.
I believe that, sometimes, violence is the answer. I believe that on occasion a little bit of violence can save a great deal of pain and that, in those rare instances, the violence should be freed of its shackles and chains and let loose until the other side of understanding can be reached.
I believe that every person we meet is meant to be either a friend or an estranged acquaintance. I believe nothing is wrong with either and that the only difference between the two is in their levels of understanding.
I believe that it is important to hold true to our individual beliefs. I believe that anyone who insists your beliefs are wrong should be forced to sit in a chair and examine their own faith until they understand where they've left the path.
I believe that understanding can be accomplished through a delicate combination of listening and hearing. I believe that, by refusing to be open to understanding others, we close ourselves off and, ultimately, make ourselves poorer for our ignorance.
I believe that knowledge is wealth and that no flavor of knowledge is exempted from this fact. I believe that by learning all we can while we are here, we prepare ourselves to move beyond.
I believe that spiritualism is every bit as valid as faith. I believe that they are one and the same and are all but interchangeable. I believe that it is a basic part of the human condition to rely on one or the other to help us see more clearly.
I believe that anger is no excuse for cruelty and that cruelty is an unacceptable byproduct of fear. I truly believe that fear can be overcome and that it is in an individual's best interest to do so.
I believe that ignorance is bliss but wisdom is joy and, while each person should be allowed to choose their own path, each person should also be educated and made aware that it is, in fact, a choice.
I believe that, sometimes, the best way to find the path is to travel more deeply into the woods. I believe that darkness is the easiest place to find the light.
I believe that the opposite of death is creation.
I believe that occasionally examining our beliefs helps us to better know ourselves.
I believe that every thing of beauty is both magical and majestic and that we owe it to ourselves to bask in their existence and be enriched by them
What do you believe?
Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.
-Gail Devers-
I believe Dragons and Unicorns are constantly lurking just around the next bend. I believe we can see them if we just remember how to look properly.
I believe that friends are the most important thing and that to have friends means to be a friend.
I believe that whatever we set our minds to is, indeed, possible. I do not believe that there are limits to this fact. I also believe that those people who do strive to put limits to this should be kept away from the rest of us because they are dragging our asses down.
I believe that we can be who we want simply because we want to. Furthermore, I believe that anyone who tries to tell us it is wrong to be who we are, should be beaten with a stick until they come around or cease inhabiting our universe; whichever comes first.
I believe that hard work and dedication can overcome all obstacles. I believe that, properly recognized and encouraged, a person who shows themselves to be capable of both traits can rule their world with an iron fist balanced by ultimate tenderness.
I believe that all problems can be solved. I believe that human ingenuity is such that, by bending our will to a problem, we can overcome the insurmountable.
I believe that anything is possible. I believe that in our trek to the stars, we will confront our limits and exceed them on the strength of our sheer stubbornness alone.
I believe in monsters. I believe they are hiding just out of sight to ruthlessly pounce on the unwary. I believe that, armed with a fire poker, said monster can be permanently banished.
I believe that the world is full of stupid people who are unaware of their own stupidity. I believe that, every once in a while, every single one of us is guilty of being one of those stupid people. I believe our truest friends should smack us with a rolled up newspaper whenever we cross that line.
I believe that love is real and in many guises. I believe that love is returned to us by its very recognition. I believe that, when we find someone we love, we should cherish them and go out of our way to keep them safe; not sheltered.
I believe that smothering someone is just as dangerous as ignoring them. I believe that the adage, "Keep thy friends close and thine enemy closer," deserves to be reinterpreted as "try to befriend everyone".
I believe in fairies. I believe they are closer than we believe and more substantial than we imagine. I believe their headquarters is just up the way, beyond the deer-head in the road. I believe the wisest course is to heed the warning.
I believe that kindness is not always the best course. I believe that kindness can be a hindrance in large enough quantities and that it should be carefully tempered by truth.
I believe that, sometimes, violence is the answer. I believe that on occasion a little bit of violence can save a great deal of pain and that, in those rare instances, the violence should be freed of its shackles and chains and let loose until the other side of understanding can be reached.
I believe that every person we meet is meant to be either a friend or an estranged acquaintance. I believe nothing is wrong with either and that the only difference between the two is in their levels of understanding.
I believe that it is important to hold true to our individual beliefs. I believe that anyone who insists your beliefs are wrong should be forced to sit in a chair and examine their own faith until they understand where they've left the path.
I believe that understanding can be accomplished through a delicate combination of listening and hearing. I believe that, by refusing to be open to understanding others, we close ourselves off and, ultimately, make ourselves poorer for our ignorance.
I believe that knowledge is wealth and that no flavor of knowledge is exempted from this fact. I believe that by learning all we can while we are here, we prepare ourselves to move beyond.
I believe that spiritualism is every bit as valid as faith. I believe that they are one and the same and are all but interchangeable. I believe that it is a basic part of the human condition to rely on one or the other to help us see more clearly.
I believe that anger is no excuse for cruelty and that cruelty is an unacceptable byproduct of fear. I truly believe that fear can be overcome and that it is in an individual's best interest to do so.
I believe that ignorance is bliss but wisdom is joy and, while each person should be allowed to choose their own path, each person should also be educated and made aware that it is, in fact, a choice.
I believe that, sometimes, the best way to find the path is to travel more deeply into the woods. I believe that darkness is the easiest place to find the light.
I believe that the opposite of death is creation.
I believe that occasionally examining our beliefs helps us to better know ourselves.
I believe that every thing of beauty is both magical and majestic and that we owe it to ourselves to bask in their existence and be enriched by them
What do you believe?
Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.
-Gail Devers-
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friends...
Friend...
The American Heritage Dictionary (via Wordnik) defines the word friend as follows.
1. noun A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
It goes on from there to define the word at various other levels but I think I am going to stick with the original for what I want to talk about. I do think it worth mentioning one other entry from the good old AHD which is as follows...
7. Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amīcus "friend” and amō "I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend” and phileō "I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frēond, the Old English word for "friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb frēon, "to love.” The Germanic root behind this verb is *frī-, which meant "to like, love, be friendly to.” Closely linked to these concepts is that of "peace,” and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, "peaceful ruler,” and Siegfried, ”victory peace.” The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, "day of Frigg,” from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris diēs, "day of Venus.”
Damn! That is some interesting stuff! I am, by no means, a lexicographer. (I learned that word from Erin McKean. If you don't know who this wonderful woman is, I recommend meeting her here. She is also the entrepreneur behind Wordnik, a website dedicated to reshaping the dictionary to better fit in the current age. I encourage you all to check it out and offer your support!) But come on! The history and roots of our language are amazing!
Anyway... I guess that, in an effort to break all of that down to basics, friends are people you love.
Alright, I can get on board with that. Let me take a look at how that definition fits into my life.
I have tons of friends! Holy shit! Who knew!??
Seriously though... I have friends from every place I have lived over the years. I am going to set aside the trust thing for now (I have issues, alright?) and just focus on the people I love.
Family? Check! I may not be as close to them as many people are to their families but, whether from years of shared experiences or due to genuine connections I have formed with them throughout my life, I do indeed love most of my family. By the definition we are working with, my family members are my friends.
People I knew growing up? Check again! I will be honest here and say right off the bat that I don't really talk to many people from my childhood. (For the sake of this definition we will call my childhood anything that took place before I turned... Oh... Let's say around 13 or so.) When I really stop to think about it though, yes. Yes, there are still people from my childhood whom I love. Kieth, Jason, Duff... I may not be involved in, or even aware of their lives anymore, but I do still feel love for them. At least enough so that, if I found out they were in town, I would veritably jump at the chance to sit down and visit with them over coffee. Maybe even enough that, given the opportunity, I would happily reaffirm and revisit our friendship in the context of our lives.
So, from what I can tell I have about a hundred friends so far and I am just getting into my teens. Lets take a look at the next phase of my life.
Adolescence? Absolutely. There are a few people from this period of my life whose lives have become so inter-meshed with mine over the years that I dont think I will ever be rid of them! In particular Paul, Bob and Janelle. I see them far too infrequently and talk to them only a little more but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these people are my friends. There are of course others, but these are the people who, if I ever needed a shoulder to cry on, they would not flinch from me in the least. More importantly, they know that should the need ever arise, I would do the same for them.
Moving right along... Eventually I moved out of high school and into college. I have to admit, I didn't do too well at living this phase of my life and, in retrospect, I can't say that I genuinely formed any bonds there. That isn't to say that the people there weren't worth bonding with. To the contrary, I do actually harbor some sadness that I am unable to name any of the people I knew then as friends. Maybe, (Hopefully?) some of them do consider me a friend and one day I will be able to return that bond when chance and circumstance permit.
::sniffle:: Alright, better get over it and move forward.
I can't think of an effective way to break down the years since school ended so it looks like the remainder of my life gets to get all thrown together.
Adulthood? Ohhh yeah. I have had any number of jobs over the years and at each and every one of them I have formed some kind of lasting love for someone. Some of those friends are people I am still sporadically in touch with. Others I haven't heard from in years but the list in my head of the people I have loved, and continue to love, in my adulthood are too numerous and too varied to even begin to list off. Suffice it to say that if any one of them ever needed my help with something and I were in a position to give them the help they needed, I would do so without batting an eye.
Scarily enough, I still have a couple of life periods (as I reckon these things) to touch on. Don't worry, I will do my best to be brief. (Insert rather long winded aside here. :p)
Tennessee? Oh hell yes. I only lived in Tennessee for about a year (this time around) but I do believe I made some lasting friendships there. I will admit readily that I am not the best at keeping in touch with any of them but I do genuinely try. More importantly, they know that and make an effort to remain in touch with me as well. I have to say in all honesty that, when I was with my friends in Tennessee was the time when I felt closest to a group of people. That group doesn't exist anymore and I still love each and every individual I had there. But when I look back with wonder and nostalgia in my eye, it is most often the group that I miss most.
Which brings us, finally, to the present. The present in this instance consists of the last two and a half years or so. To be more specific, the time I have lived here, in Austin. It has taken me a good deal of time to start developing friends here due mainly to my lack of social ambition. I am consciously working on that these days and, upon examination, I seem to be doing better than I had thought. I have several people with whom I am able to sit and converse on a variety of levels and topics and, as time goes on, some of them do seem to be turning into genuine friends and people I love. Each of them I think (and hope) knows who they are and, I hope, feels the same way toward me.
There is one person, however, from this most recent stage of my life, who deserves special mention. I have found through this time the one person I have been closest to. My roommate Manda and I have been living together since my arrival here and it has been wonderful. For the first time in my life, I have a person who I can genuinely connect with regularly and who I trust to be there as my support and sounding stone whether I need her to be or not. Even more amazingly, she has grown into someone who, even when I want to kill her for it, will tell me the honest and unadulterated truth. Someone for whom I can express both respect and love.
That isn't to say there aren't times when we drive one another insane or to the brink of homicide. The important thing is that we have both grown into our selves in such a way as to be able to accept the idiosyncrasies of one another. We have created a home together hinging on mutual respect and support and we are continuing to grow together now and for the foreseeable future.
If you find yourself without a person like this in your life, I truly hope you are able to meet one someday. Whether they be a friend, lover, sibling, spouse, parent or child, this truest of friends is someone to cherish so be sure that you do so. If you don't cherish them as they so richly deserve, I will find you. I mean it. And you really really don't want me to do that.
And so, in closing, I have friends. I am betting that you do too. I recommend that you take a moment now and then to take stock of that fact and relish it wholeheartedly.
A friend may well be the masterpiece of Nature.
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.
The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one.
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson- four separate quotes from one amazing mind
The American Heritage Dictionary (via Wordnik) defines the word friend as follows.
1. noun A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
It goes on from there to define the word at various other levels but I think I am going to stick with the original for what I want to talk about. I do think it worth mentioning one other entry from the good old AHD which is as follows...
7. Word History: A friend is a lover, literally. The relationship between Latin amīcus "friend” and amō "I love” is clear, as is the relationship between Greek philos "friend” and phileō "I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb related to friend. At that time, frēond, the Old English word for "friend,” was simply the present participle of the verb frēon, "to love.” The Germanic root behind this verb is *frī-, which meant "to like, love, be friendly to.” Closely linked to these concepts is that of "peace,” and in fact Germanic made a noun from this root, *frithu-, meaning exactly that. Ultimately descended from this noun are the personal names Frederick, "peaceful ruler,” and Siegfried, ”victory peace.” The root also shows up in the name of the Germanic deity Frigg, the goddess of love, who lives on today in the word Friday, "day of Frigg,” from an ancient translation of Latin Veneris diēs, "day of Venus.”
Damn! That is some interesting stuff! I am, by no means, a lexicographer. (I learned that word from Erin McKean. If you don't know who this wonderful woman is, I recommend meeting her here. She is also the entrepreneur behind Wordnik, a website dedicated to reshaping the dictionary to better fit in the current age. I encourage you all to check it out and offer your support!) But come on! The history and roots of our language are amazing!
Anyway... I guess that, in an effort to break all of that down to basics, friends are people you love.
Alright, I can get on board with that. Let me take a look at how that definition fits into my life.
I have tons of friends! Holy shit! Who knew!??
Seriously though... I have friends from every place I have lived over the years. I am going to set aside the trust thing for now (I have issues, alright?) and just focus on the people I love.
Family? Check! I may not be as close to them as many people are to their families but, whether from years of shared experiences or due to genuine connections I have formed with them throughout my life, I do indeed love most of my family. By the definition we are working with, my family members are my friends.
People I knew growing up? Check again! I will be honest here and say right off the bat that I don't really talk to many people from my childhood. (For the sake of this definition we will call my childhood anything that took place before I turned... Oh... Let's say around 13 or so.) When I really stop to think about it though, yes. Yes, there are still people from my childhood whom I love. Kieth, Jason, Duff... I may not be involved in, or even aware of their lives anymore, but I do still feel love for them. At least enough so that, if I found out they were in town, I would veritably jump at the chance to sit down and visit with them over coffee. Maybe even enough that, given the opportunity, I would happily reaffirm and revisit our friendship in the context of our lives.
So, from what I can tell I have about a hundred friends so far and I am just getting into my teens. Lets take a look at the next phase of my life.
Adolescence? Absolutely. There are a few people from this period of my life whose lives have become so inter-meshed with mine over the years that I dont think I will ever be rid of them! In particular Paul, Bob and Janelle. I see them far too infrequently and talk to them only a little more but I can say without a shadow of a doubt that these people are my friends. There are of course others, but these are the people who, if I ever needed a shoulder to cry on, they would not flinch from me in the least. More importantly, they know that should the need ever arise, I would do the same for them.
Moving right along... Eventually I moved out of high school and into college. I have to admit, I didn't do too well at living this phase of my life and, in retrospect, I can't say that I genuinely formed any bonds there. That isn't to say that the people there weren't worth bonding with. To the contrary, I do actually harbor some sadness that I am unable to name any of the people I knew then as friends. Maybe, (Hopefully?) some of them do consider me a friend and one day I will be able to return that bond when chance and circumstance permit.
::sniffle:: Alright, better get over it and move forward.
I can't think of an effective way to break down the years since school ended so it looks like the remainder of my life gets to get all thrown together.
Adulthood? Ohhh yeah. I have had any number of jobs over the years and at each and every one of them I have formed some kind of lasting love for someone. Some of those friends are people I am still sporadically in touch with. Others I haven't heard from in years but the list in my head of the people I have loved, and continue to love, in my adulthood are too numerous and too varied to even begin to list off. Suffice it to say that if any one of them ever needed my help with something and I were in a position to give them the help they needed, I would do so without batting an eye.
Scarily enough, I still have a couple of life periods (as I reckon these things) to touch on. Don't worry, I will do my best to be brief. (Insert rather long winded aside here. :p)
Tennessee? Oh hell yes. I only lived in Tennessee for about a year (this time around) but I do believe I made some lasting friendships there. I will admit readily that I am not the best at keeping in touch with any of them but I do genuinely try. More importantly, they know that and make an effort to remain in touch with me as well. I have to say in all honesty that, when I was with my friends in Tennessee was the time when I felt closest to a group of people. That group doesn't exist anymore and I still love each and every individual I had there. But when I look back with wonder and nostalgia in my eye, it is most often the group that I miss most.
Which brings us, finally, to the present. The present in this instance consists of the last two and a half years or so. To be more specific, the time I have lived here, in Austin. It has taken me a good deal of time to start developing friends here due mainly to my lack of social ambition. I am consciously working on that these days and, upon examination, I seem to be doing better than I had thought. I have several people with whom I am able to sit and converse on a variety of levels and topics and, as time goes on, some of them do seem to be turning into genuine friends and people I love. Each of them I think (and hope) knows who they are and, I hope, feels the same way toward me.
There is one person, however, from this most recent stage of my life, who deserves special mention. I have found through this time the one person I have been closest to. My roommate Manda and I have been living together since my arrival here and it has been wonderful. For the first time in my life, I have a person who I can genuinely connect with regularly and who I trust to be there as my support and sounding stone whether I need her to be or not. Even more amazingly, she has grown into someone who, even when I want to kill her for it, will tell me the honest and unadulterated truth. Someone for whom I can express both respect and love.
That isn't to say there aren't times when we drive one another insane or to the brink of homicide. The important thing is that we have both grown into our selves in such a way as to be able to accept the idiosyncrasies of one another. We have created a home together hinging on mutual respect and support and we are continuing to grow together now and for the foreseeable future.
If you find yourself without a person like this in your life, I truly hope you are able to meet one someday. Whether they be a friend, lover, sibling, spouse, parent or child, this truest of friends is someone to cherish so be sure that you do so. If you don't cherish them as they so richly deserve, I will find you. I mean it. And you really really don't want me to do that.
And so, in closing, I have friends. I am betting that you do too. I recommend that you take a moment now and then to take stock of that fact and relish it wholeheartedly.
A friend may well be the masterpiece of Nature.
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.
The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one.
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson- four separate quotes from one amazing mind
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Individualization...
I got an email the other day from my little sister. This fact, in and of itself, was both surprising and pleasing but when I read the message she had sent I had to stop for a few minutes to think of a way to respond.
My sister is 13 years old now and is a freshman in high school. (Yikes! That is scarier than I care to admit.) I was 17 when she was born so, while we may have lived under the same roof for a few years, we were never exactly close as siblings. By the time she was old enough to be self aware I had already stared striking out to begin my own life. In fact, over the last few years, I have seen her only when I have been able to fly back home for my (rather infrequent) visits.
Not withstanding our lack of closeness, I have always held at least a modicum of sway over her tastes and preferences. I mean, I introduced her to Rocky Horror Picture Show when she was around three and she keeps viewing it regularly this day. (Note to self: Check with sister to learn current number of viewings to date.)
I also helped formulate her musical tastes by introducing her to music I myself enjoy. Perhaps it isn't surprising that she sent me a message asking me for feedback and ideas pertaining to new music that she should listen to and enjoy. What was surprising was the reason...
Apparently, my sister is striving to become an individual. She wants to set herself apart from her peers by having her own tastes and such.
I can get behind that to a point so I sent her some ideas. I recommended listening to several different musical genres that are less mainstream than she would generally hear on the radio. In particular, I mentioned show-tunes (a long time favorite of mine), along with classical and opera as being something new for her to check. I also recommended that she listen to some oldies just because, well, they are awesome and I think everyone ought to be able to find some kind of oldies to enjoy. Hell... If it has withstood the years and is still something people want to hear then there almost has to be something in it worth listening to!
Anyway, all that being said I think that there is something more important to keep in mind. Being an individual means more than just liking things that other people don't like or are unexposed to. Being an individual does encompass that but it is also having the courage and strength of character to hold to your own personal preferences. That includes the times when everyone else likes it too.
Just because everyone likes something does not devalue it as a thing to like. Distinguishing yourself as an individual by disregarding that in which others see merit is both ignorant and stunting. (I considered making a goth or indie dig here... Something regarding the uniform of non-conformity or some-such nonsense... But then I realized it would open a whole other can of worms that I just don't have the attention span to tackle right now.)
Not that you have to like things because everyone does. That is just ignorance in the opposite (and more frequent) direction. All I am saying is that, before disregarding something based on the preference of others, a person owes it to themselves to give it their attention and thought in an effort to decide for themselves whether or not they can see it's merit.
I suppose that what it comes down to is that individualism is something that is based solely on self. If you really truly wish to be an individual then you have to be honest, introspective and strong.
In other words...
You have to like what you like without regard to the opinions of others.
And let's face it here... Ignorance is no bar to individualism. Not knowing something is not the same as pretending that you either do or do not like something.
Yeah... I think I had it right... Honest, introspective and strong (courageous?) enough to hold tight to your own individual truth.
It is nice if you can do all that without trying to ram your opinions down the throats of others too. Doing so doesn't disqualify you from the "I'm an Individual" club... But it does grant you membership to the "I'm an Individual Who Thinks My Opinion is Better than Yours" club. I like to call that one "I Need My Ass Kicked" for short.
And for fucks sake... If you ever hear yourself utter the words, "In my humble opinion," please... Just stop there. If it is humble keep it to yourself. If you think it is worth sharing, well then, it isn't humble. That's fine, really, but don't bloody well lie about it. You aren't fooling anyone, you know.
It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.
-Giordano Bruno-
My sister is 13 years old now and is a freshman in high school. (Yikes! That is scarier than I care to admit.) I was 17 when she was born so, while we may have lived under the same roof for a few years, we were never exactly close as siblings. By the time she was old enough to be self aware I had already stared striking out to begin my own life. In fact, over the last few years, I have seen her only when I have been able to fly back home for my (rather infrequent) visits.
Not withstanding our lack of closeness, I have always held at least a modicum of sway over her tastes and preferences. I mean, I introduced her to Rocky Horror Picture Show when she was around three and she keeps viewing it regularly this day. (Note to self: Check with sister to learn current number of viewings to date.)
I also helped formulate her musical tastes by introducing her to music I myself enjoy. Perhaps it isn't surprising that she sent me a message asking me for feedback and ideas pertaining to new music that she should listen to and enjoy. What was surprising was the reason...
Apparently, my sister is striving to become an individual. She wants to set herself apart from her peers by having her own tastes and such.
I can get behind that to a point so I sent her some ideas. I recommended listening to several different musical genres that are less mainstream than she would generally hear on the radio. In particular, I mentioned show-tunes (a long time favorite of mine), along with classical and opera as being something new for her to check. I also recommended that she listen to some oldies just because, well, they are awesome and I think everyone ought to be able to find some kind of oldies to enjoy. Hell... If it has withstood the years and is still something people want to hear then there almost has to be something in it worth listening to!
Anyway, all that being said I think that there is something more important to keep in mind. Being an individual means more than just liking things that other people don't like or are unexposed to. Being an individual does encompass that but it is also having the courage and strength of character to hold to your own personal preferences. That includes the times when everyone else likes it too.
Just because everyone likes something does not devalue it as a thing to like. Distinguishing yourself as an individual by disregarding that in which others see merit is both ignorant and stunting. (I considered making a goth or indie dig here... Something regarding the uniform of non-conformity or some-such nonsense... But then I realized it would open a whole other can of worms that I just don't have the attention span to tackle right now.)
Not that you have to like things because everyone does. That is just ignorance in the opposite (and more frequent) direction. All I am saying is that, before disregarding something based on the preference of others, a person owes it to themselves to give it their attention and thought in an effort to decide for themselves whether or not they can see it's merit.
I suppose that what it comes down to is that individualism is something that is based solely on self. If you really truly wish to be an individual then you have to be honest, introspective and strong.
In other words...
You have to like what you like without regard to the opinions of others.
And let's face it here... Ignorance is no bar to individualism. Not knowing something is not the same as pretending that you either do or do not like something.
Yeah... I think I had it right... Honest, introspective and strong (courageous?) enough to hold tight to your own individual truth.
It is nice if you can do all that without trying to ram your opinions down the throats of others too. Doing so doesn't disqualify you from the "I'm an Individual" club... But it does grant you membership to the "I'm an Individual Who Thinks My Opinion is Better than Yours" club. I like to call that one "I Need My Ass Kicked" for short.
And for fucks sake... If you ever hear yourself utter the words, "In my humble opinion," please... Just stop there. If it is humble keep it to yourself. If you think it is worth sharing, well then, it isn't humble. That's fine, really, but don't bloody well lie about it. You aren't fooling anyone, you know.
It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.
-Giordano Bruno-
Monday, September 21, 2009
On Dreams and Encouragement...
Every person believes that they are special.
We are reminded over and over again throughout our lives that this is true. Beginning with our parents and grandparents we are told that we can do anything we set our minds to; that we can grow up to be anybody we want.
As we grow, most of us continue to have this reaffirmed to us by teachers, counselors, friends, family and anyone else we meet. Even a complete stranger, when faced with a child looking up at them with their big round eyes, will lend their voice to the masses and tell the child that they are certain to succeed as long as they put their mind to it.
There are, however, some exceptions that deserve to be noted here.
I have known people who grew up in situations that can only be called abusive. In situations like these the child is reminded repeatedly that they are not good enough, will never be good enough and will never succeed. In some more extreme cases, I have even seen people tell their children that they were, not only a mistake, but that the child ruined the life of the parent and that the parent wished the child were never born. (If you ever hear someone say something like this, I expect you to hit them immediately.)
Ain't that some shit.
Now here is where I think that part of the problem begins...
Quite often a person grows up to either emulate their parent(s) or to revile them. In other words, most people either grow to repeat the mistakes that their parents made or to make completely new mistakes by choosing a different course.
I heartily approve of encouraging a child to dream and to reach for the stars. What people need to stop doing is allowing those children to grow up believing that they can achieve anything without educating the child on what they will need to do in order to accomplish their goal.
Too often, it seems, people are growing up and becoming disillusioned with the world around them because they were ill prepared for the challenges of the real world. These are people who were never taught about the work and effort they would have to put forth to succeed. They have gotten to where they are by expecting the world to hand them their dreams simply because they want them to come true!
I think people need to have conversations with their children. By no means should we just shrug off what they say as the fanciful imaginings of youth. If little Sally tells you that she wants to become an Astronaut, find out why. Try to learn what it is that attracts her to the field and, more importantly, what needs to happen for her to get there. Tell Sally about all the hard work she is going to need to do. Most of all, find out what you, as a parent, need to do to help see the dream come true.
When your son, Timmy, approaches you after the school play and tells you he wants to grow up to be an actor the correct answer is not, "Well you did great! You are already the best actor I have ever seen!" nor is "Well, I don't know..." the right thing to say. Instead, try something more honest like, "That's great Tim. You did really well on stage today and I am sure that, with a lot of hard work and the proper training, you could grow up to be brilliant!"
What I mean to say is, don't just tell your kids that they can succeed if they puts their minds to it and, please, don't discourage them. For that matter, if I ever again see a parent laugh maliciously at the dreams of their children, I think that I may just haul off and punch them in the head. (I will then explain to the child that it was what their parent had always wanted and that I was helping to make dreams come true.)
Children need to be appropriately prepared and encouraged. They need to be supported in reaching for their dreams and bolstered by the knowledge of its achievability and how to make the achievement happen.
As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.
-Jack Canfield-
We are reminded over and over again throughout our lives that this is true. Beginning with our parents and grandparents we are told that we can do anything we set our minds to; that we can grow up to be anybody we want.
As we grow, most of us continue to have this reaffirmed to us by teachers, counselors, friends, family and anyone else we meet. Even a complete stranger, when faced with a child looking up at them with their big round eyes, will lend their voice to the masses and tell the child that they are certain to succeed as long as they put their mind to it.
There are, however, some exceptions that deserve to be noted here.
I have known people who grew up in situations that can only be called abusive. In situations like these the child is reminded repeatedly that they are not good enough, will never be good enough and will never succeed. In some more extreme cases, I have even seen people tell their children that they were, not only a mistake, but that the child ruined the life of the parent and that the parent wished the child were never born. (If you ever hear someone say something like this, I expect you to hit them immediately.)
Ain't that some shit.
Now here is where I think that part of the problem begins...
Quite often a person grows up to either emulate their parent(s) or to revile them. In other words, most people either grow to repeat the mistakes that their parents made or to make completely new mistakes by choosing a different course.
I heartily approve of encouraging a child to dream and to reach for the stars. What people need to stop doing is allowing those children to grow up believing that they can achieve anything without educating the child on what they will need to do in order to accomplish their goal.
Too often, it seems, people are growing up and becoming disillusioned with the world around them because they were ill prepared for the challenges of the real world. These are people who were never taught about the work and effort they would have to put forth to succeed. They have gotten to where they are by expecting the world to hand them their dreams simply because they want them to come true!
I think people need to have conversations with their children. By no means should we just shrug off what they say as the fanciful imaginings of youth. If little Sally tells you that she wants to become an Astronaut, find out why. Try to learn what it is that attracts her to the field and, more importantly, what needs to happen for her to get there. Tell Sally about all the hard work she is going to need to do. Most of all, find out what you, as a parent, need to do to help see the dream come true.
When your son, Timmy, approaches you after the school play and tells you he wants to grow up to be an actor the correct answer is not, "Well you did great! You are already the best actor I have ever seen!" nor is "Well, I don't know..." the right thing to say. Instead, try something more honest like, "That's great Tim. You did really well on stage today and I am sure that, with a lot of hard work and the proper training, you could grow up to be brilliant!"
What I mean to say is, don't just tell your kids that they can succeed if they puts their minds to it and, please, don't discourage them. For that matter, if I ever again see a parent laugh maliciously at the dreams of their children, I think that I may just haul off and punch them in the head. (I will then explain to the child that it was what their parent had always wanted and that I was helping to make dreams come true.)
Children need to be appropriately prepared and encouraged. They need to be supported in reaching for their dreams and bolstered by the knowledge of its achievability and how to make the achievement happen.
As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.
-Jack Canfield-
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Talk Like a Pirate Day...
Alright! Another National Talk Like a Pirate Day has come and gone and I didn't hear nearly enough bad pirate accents!
Every year I remind people ahead of time... I call and text friends with obnoxious piratey slogans (and threats)... I go to work and spout off all kinds of verbal diarrhea tinted with pirate slang... And unless I happen to actually be wearing a pirate hat, all I get are confused looks.
I swear I can read the faces. "Is he alright?", "Oh my, you are a little touched aren't you?" and my personal favorite look, "Ahh... You are one of those people..."
Come on folks! This happens every year! I know for a fact that I am not the only one participating in these festivities! Relax and have some fun for fucks sake!
Let me break this down into the simplest terms I can.
What I am really saying is this:
Everyone, at one time or another in their lives, loves pirates. You may outgrow it and not really consider it your thing any more but if you ever find someone who can swear that they have never once enjoyed something piratey then they are either liars or have led a wasted life and have a serious problem. Therefore, it is your duty as a good and decent human being to FIX IT!
In other words...
Loosen up, relax, have some fun and, for the love of all that is good in the world, embrace that miraculously childlike bit of your Self you keep denying and talk like a gods-damned Pirate!
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
-Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain-
Every year I remind people ahead of time... I call and text friends with obnoxious piratey slogans (and threats)... I go to work and spout off all kinds of verbal diarrhea tinted with pirate slang... And unless I happen to actually be wearing a pirate hat, all I get are confused looks.
I swear I can read the faces. "Is he alright?", "Oh my, you are a little touched aren't you?" and my personal favorite look, "Ahh... You are one of those people..."
Come on folks! This happens every year! I know for a fact that I am not the only one participating in these festivities! Relax and have some fun for fucks sake!
Let me break this down into the simplest terms I can.
What I am really saying is this:
Everyone, at one time or another in their lives, loves pirates. You may outgrow it and not really consider it your thing any more but if you ever find someone who can swear that they have never once enjoyed something piratey then they are either liars or have led a wasted life and have a serious problem. Therefore, it is your duty as a good and decent human being to FIX IT!
In other words...
Loosen up, relax, have some fun and, for the love of all that is good in the world, embrace that miraculously childlike bit of your Self you keep denying and talk like a gods-damned Pirate!
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
-Life on the Mississippi by Mark Twain-
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Making Change Happen...
By now, I think I have made it abundantly clear through my posts that I am making a concerted effort to make positive changes happen in my life. A good bit of that change is happening here, on the intarwubbies, but some is happening in the real world as well.
For example, I had my roommate cut my hair for me the other day. It is something I am still cringing about but it is a positive change. I prefer to keep my hair long but, with my work schedule being what it is (i.e. being at work at 5 am most mornings), I just don't have the time to take care of it. I can grow it out again when my life is more in line with doing so. Looking all ratty just isn't going to work for me anymore. (There! I said it!)
I am also making an attempt at quitting smoking. I've gotten a prescription for Chantix. (Through use of networking :p... I have no regular doctor and no money to spare so I went through channels to achieve a goal. Yay!) Additionally, I have some of the patch sitting around that I may attempt to make use of if it seems to be something that will help me out. The plan is to stop smoking for the dual benefits of better health and better cash flow.
Also in regards to better health is getting more exercise. It is finally cooling down a little bit outside, (By cooling down I mean in the 70s and 80s versus topping out at over a hundred!) so I am going to start walking more again and I am going to make it a point to do some time on my exercise bike each day. Of course, I am planning to succeed so I am not going insane with my goals. To start with I am only going to aim to be on the bike for 10 to 15 minutes at a clip but as I succeed and settle into a routine I will increase the time.
In essence, what I am doing here and now is formalizing the goals that I have set out for myself. My hope is that, by putting this all in print, I will make it more solid and help myself to achieve what I am putting before me. It will also serve to update those who are reading this to know what I am up to and it will (hopefully) solicit support from those who are more intimately involved in my life these days. (coughHINT!cough)
Gods know I can use all the positive reinforcement I can get.
Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not remain so if you only perceive an ideal and strive to reach it. You cannot travel within and stand still without.
-James Allen-
For example, I had my roommate cut my hair for me the other day. It is something I am still cringing about but it is a positive change. I prefer to keep my hair long but, with my work schedule being what it is (i.e. being at work at 5 am most mornings), I just don't have the time to take care of it. I can grow it out again when my life is more in line with doing so. Looking all ratty just isn't going to work for me anymore. (There! I said it!)
I am also making an attempt at quitting smoking. I've gotten a prescription for Chantix. (Through use of networking :p... I have no regular doctor and no money to spare so I went through channels to achieve a goal. Yay!) Additionally, I have some of the patch sitting around that I may attempt to make use of if it seems to be something that will help me out. The plan is to stop smoking for the dual benefits of better health and better cash flow.
Also in regards to better health is getting more exercise. It is finally cooling down a little bit outside, (By cooling down I mean in the 70s and 80s versus topping out at over a hundred!) so I am going to start walking more again and I am going to make it a point to do some time on my exercise bike each day. Of course, I am planning to succeed so I am not going insane with my goals. To start with I am only going to aim to be on the bike for 10 to 15 minutes at a clip but as I succeed and settle into a routine I will increase the time.
In essence, what I am doing here and now is formalizing the goals that I have set out for myself. My hope is that, by putting this all in print, I will make it more solid and help myself to achieve what I am putting before me. It will also serve to update those who are reading this to know what I am up to and it will (hopefully) solicit support from those who are more intimately involved in my life these days. (coughHINT!cough)
Gods know I can use all the positive reinforcement I can get.
Your circumstances may be uncongenial, but they shall not remain so if you only perceive an ideal and strive to reach it. You cannot travel within and stand still without.
-James Allen-
Friday, September 11, 2009
Momentum...
Momentum is a funny and scary thing. It all goes back to two key facts that, I think, most of us learned back in elementary school.
1. An object in motion stays in motion.
and
2. Every action causes an equal and opposite reaction.
1. An object in motion stays in motion.
and
2. Every action causes an equal and opposite reaction.
You remember this little thing, right? Come on... You know you had one.
Time and again it has been brought home to us that these two truisms are always going to be and that there is not a damned thing we can do about them.
So, of course, the next question is; How do we harness them?
I have seen diagrams and designs for perpetual motion engines using springs and elastics and any number of other things but what I am talking about is something that is a little bit more true to life for each of us.
Personally, I have lost track of how many times I have allowed myself to be caught up in the whirlwind of events taking place around me. I have been dragged behind trains of events and mercilessly trampled under the horses of emotion. The bottom line, though, is that, each time, I have allowed events and circumstances to push me into a position where all I could do is allow the storm to wash over me.
Well, all I would do, anyway...
Now I am trying something different. I am not just allowing myself to drift through the chaotic seas of life but, instead, I am offering up my own momentum. I have begun shaping the storm and harnessing its energy into something that, ultimately, will turn to my advantage.
The internet is a tool. Millions of us spend time each day floating through cyberspace, surfing on the waves of thought that have been compiled for our perusal. This blog (along with the other social media sites that I am working on) is my little corner. This is where I am attempting to manipulate the current in such a way that I will no longer be just a casual traveler but, instead, a destination in my own right.
As I grow my little corner of the world into something more substantial, this will be the cornerstone of my empire. From this outcropping will stem a steady flow of creativity and content that will draw others into my wake and allow me a stepping stone into the next stage of my life.
This is perpetual motion.
This is the beginning of my momentum.
This is where I launch my life.
The most important thing you can do to achieve your goals is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to create momentum. The most important rules that I ever adopted to help me in achieving my goals were those I learned from a very successful man who taught me to first write down the goal, and then to never leave the site of setting a goal without first taking some kind of positive action towards its attainment.
-Anthony Robbins-
Time and again it has been brought home to us that these two truisms are always going to be and that there is not a damned thing we can do about them.
So, of course, the next question is; How do we harness them?
I have seen diagrams and designs for perpetual motion engines using springs and elastics and any number of other things but what I am talking about is something that is a little bit more true to life for each of us.
Personally, I have lost track of how many times I have allowed myself to be caught up in the whirlwind of events taking place around me. I have been dragged behind trains of events and mercilessly trampled under the horses of emotion. The bottom line, though, is that, each time, I have allowed events and circumstances to push me into a position where all I could do is allow the storm to wash over me.
Well, all I would do, anyway...
Now I am trying something different. I am not just allowing myself to drift through the chaotic seas of life but, instead, I am offering up my own momentum. I have begun shaping the storm and harnessing its energy into something that, ultimately, will turn to my advantage.
The internet is a tool. Millions of us spend time each day floating through cyberspace, surfing on the waves of thought that have been compiled for our perusal. This blog (along with the other social media sites that I am working on) is my little corner. This is where I am attempting to manipulate the current in such a way that I will no longer be just a casual traveler but, instead, a destination in my own right.
As I grow my little corner of the world into something more substantial, this will be the cornerstone of my empire. From this outcropping will stem a steady flow of creativity and content that will draw others into my wake and allow me a stepping stone into the next stage of my life.
This is perpetual motion.
This is the beginning of my momentum.
This is where I launch my life.
The most important thing you can do to achieve your goals is to make sure that as soon as you set them, you immediately begin to create momentum. The most important rules that I ever adopted to help me in achieving my goals were those I learned from a very successful man who taught me to first write down the goal, and then to never leave the site of setting a goal without first taking some kind of positive action towards its attainment.
-Anthony Robbins-
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Living games...
I have been gaming for over two decades now. Scary. In fact, it has been one of the very few constants in my life! (And by constant I mean that, while it may have been shoved into the background on occasion, it was always an underlying motivator at the very least.)
Let me tell you a story...
It all began when I was an innocent young lad. (Waits impatiently, glaring, for the laughter to die down.) My days were lazy and carefree. My parents owned a house close to a beach in a small community in Connecticut. We weren't right on the water but we were close enough that I was able to sneak off for a swim with my friends whenever I thought my parents weren't going to be paying attention for a while. (To tell the truth, I was probably caught more often than I got away with it but, well, I loved being in the water.)
Our story begins on the dawn of my eighth birthday. I awoke at 6 am to my father yelling at me to get the hell out of bed and get dressed. (No one is allowed to sleep in on their birthdays in my family.) It was time for us to go have my birthday breakfast. (Bacon egg and cheese biscuts from McDonalds. My father is a man of exquisite tastes.)
As we ate, my mother (who had likewise been woken up so she would know she wasn't coming with us to McDonalds) was at home hiding my birthday presents from me. This was a game my parents liked to play with us as children. They would hide the presents and you had to find them before you could have them. It saved them the cost of wrapping paper and, if you didn't manage to find them all, they could return them to the store and we would be none the wiser. (I actually think that this threat may have been followed through on once or twice. Either that or my brothers stole some of my birthday loot and my parents never caught on.)
When my father and I returned I was allowed to begin my search.
Step one. Check all the places they used last year. This plan of attack yielded me nothing so I sat down to reassess and redeploy.
Step two. Search the common areas like the living room and dining room. Our house wasn't big but it had about a million nooks and crannies. By the time I was done with these first two steps I had wasted about an hour and was still no closer to my birthday presents.
Step Three. My bedroom. This is where I struck gold! Right there in the middle of my desk was a beautiful red box with a dragon on the front! I was immediately enthralled. I had always been a fan of the fantasy genre and dragons and unicorns were my bread and butter. I tore into that package and started flipping through the books inside as fast as I could. When I noticed the dice (and what dice they were!) I was hooked. It wasn't until almost three hours had passed when it occurred to me that I hadn't had a desk the day before. (My parents thought the desk was going to be my big gift that year... Shows what they knew! :P )
It took a few weeks of asking every person that I knew as well as more strangers than I care to count, (note: People give you extremely strange looks when you approach them in a grocery store to ask whether they play Dungeons & Dragons.) but, eventually, I found a group of kids in my neighborhood to play with. (They were all older than me. My parents had missed the line on the box saying "for ages 12 and up")
That first game was amazing! I rolled up a fighter! (Being 8 years old and the youngest one in the group I wasn't expected to understand all the rules for magic yet.) I was strong and not very bright but I had a sword and armor and I was ready to kill things!
Skeletons shattered at the heavy blows I rained down on them. (Remember THAC0?)
The magic mouth was confounded when the wizard, not only knew the answer to it's riddle, but was able to stump it with a riddle in return.
The cleric saved us all when he turned the zombie lurching in our direction while we daringly fended off the group of goblins we had stumbled into.
And when, at last, we found the Dragon, slumbering atop his horde of riches... We all died horrible, screaming deaths the likes of which none of us would ever know again. (After that first time, everyone realized that n00blet characters had no business trying to hit things with negative ACs. If only we had understood THAC0 from the start!)
Dungeons & Dragons. What a perception altering tool to give to an eight year old! For years I was intoxicated by the game. Other games have come and gone through the years but, inevitably, I always return to that one tried and true first love.
Eventually, as time went on, I was introduced to other games. GURPS, Vampire the Masquerade, Shadowrun... The list seems to go on forever as I glance back at my library of gaming books. (Seriously... It's a freaking library. No joke.)
Eventually, I developed an interest for video games.
Oh sure, I had had an Atari 2600, (I still do in fact. Eat your hearts out gamers! :p) but that wasn't a video game. At least not when compared to the new and exciting world of Mario Brothers!
Now, I won't claim to be a gaming guru. I mean at this point I don't even own a television set, let alone a console game. Even so, I was pretty avid as a teenager and even into my early twenties. Still, table-top paper and dice games were where my heart lived.
Thankfully, as I grew and matured (Glares at the audience waiting for the snickering to die down.) so did my gaming style. Hack and slash became a thing of yesteryear and role playing took its place.
Role playing... What a thing of beauty! To become someone else... To sit and envision an entire life! (It was like having my very own baby. You know... Without the diapers, spit-up, crying or, really, any of the other drawbacks to actually having my very own baby.) This was when all those other gaming systems I mentioned became a big draw for me. Games built on social interactions, political stories, and plot or character driven stories as opposed to the old brute force method of gaming.
Now, just so you understand, I am not only a gamer. In high school I found myself involved in theater. Role playing became acting and, eventually, I even went away to college for it. I double majored in Theatrical and Musical performances with minors in English, philosophy and psychology. I was even good enough at doing what I do that they payed for me to be there! (Yup. I have a little pride in that.) What all of that adds up to is that I can become anyone and convince you that I am, indeed, that character. Unfortunately, I am still searching for ways to turn all that into making an actual living. (There is grifting but, well, I just have this aversion to ever going to jail.) But hey, at least I got some skills and had a great time! (Skillz, I haz em!)
And through it all, Dungeons & Dragons was there. Just waiting for those times when I really needed to get back to basics and kill some shit!
When PC games started getting big I was all over it. I had played FFVII but this new, interactive community... The Massively Multiplayer games... This was special! This was like... Animated Dungeons & Dragons! With even MORE people to play with! My first love had come back to me and she loved me still, with all her heart!
I reveled in this new and exciting world, hopping from game to game... Learning mechanics... Memorizing lore... Writing backgrounds and storylines for characters who finally had an enthralled and captivated audience.
By now, I have played so many different MMOs and told so many stories that I couldn't name all of them if I wanted to. Some I have loved; some hated. Some for years on end and others for only a day or two before realizing that I didn't fit in their world or, sometimes, that they didn't fit into mine.
These days, there are actually a couple releases coming up soon that I am genuinely excited about! (Specifically Aion: The Tower of Eternity and the rebirth of World of Warcraft with their new expansion, Cataclysm... If anyone knows whether Blizzard has announced a date yet, let me know.)
Last year, Wizards of the Coast released Dungeons & Dragons 4th edition. Like millions of others, I rushed to the bookstore on release day to buy my copy of the core books and I was genuinely excited. I mean, who wouldn't be beside themselves with glee to see the love of their life grow and become all that it had to potential to be?
That very same week my friends and I began play testing this new system. Things had been realigned in an effort to appeal to a new generation of gamers who had started out with MMOs and were just now discovering the joys of my humble beginnings. Fighters were finally a playable class again! (They had long since became boring for me. There are only so many times I can hit something with a sword before I start feeling like a one trick pony.) With new "powers" driven combat the game was reborn into a world where it could be better appreciated by a much larger audience.
Unfortunately, it has done less well among those of us who have mostly outgrown hack and slash. (Mostly but never entirely :D)
These days, I am far from alone in enjoying the role playing aspect of gaming. This new system is absolutely phenomenal for combat but it is woefully, poorly designed for RP. There is no system in place to effectively progress a character without becoming involved in what, for all intents and purposes, can only be considered grinding.
Le sigh.
I still love Dungeons and Dragons but I think that, for now, maybe a GURPS based campaign is going to better suit my paper and dice group. If that doesn't work for us, maybe I will take a turn at DMing and introduce everybody to the wonderful world of Shadowrun.
In the mean time...
MMO mechanics belong in MMOs and while I will always belong to the table top arena in many ways, I also realize that I belong in the MMO world!
I have come to thrive in the online communities where I can act out my toons. I have met some wonderful people and friends there who have enjoyed meeting my characters and playing their parts in the continuously unfolding stories that I tell with my characters. (And I have equally enjoyed playing my roles in their stories. Yay for symbiotic relationships!)
Eventually, I would like to design worlds and stories for even more people to play and interact in. My mind is constantly churning with ideas for stories, characters and plot twists. What better place for me than lovingly watching over a world of my own devising as thousands, maybe even millions of other players likewise enjoy the wonders and enchantments of my love-child? (Insert maniacal laughter here.)
Obviously, I have to start a good deal smaller than that but I am a tenacious little bugger sometimes (Alright, fine. A big bugger. Happy?) and I am more than willing to work my way there. In fact, I look forward to it!
Now to get started...
You can like train a n00b but he'll still be like a trained n00b.
-Jeremy from Pure Pwnage-
Let me tell you a story...
It all began when I was an innocent young lad. (Waits impatiently, glaring, for the laughter to die down.) My days were lazy and carefree. My parents owned a house close to a beach in a small community in Connecticut. We weren't right on the water but we were close enough that I was able to sneak off for a swim with my friends whenever I thought my parents weren't going to be paying attention for a while. (To tell the truth, I was probably caught more often than I got away with it but, well, I loved being in the water.)
Our story begins on the dawn of my eighth birthday. I awoke at 6 am to my father yelling at me to get the hell out of bed and get dressed. (No one is allowed to sleep in on their birthdays in my family.) It was time for us to go have my birthday breakfast. (Bacon egg and cheese biscuts from McDonalds. My father is a man of exquisite tastes.)
As we ate, my mother (who had likewise been woken up so she would know she wasn't coming with us to McDonalds) was at home hiding my birthday presents from me. This was a game my parents liked to play with us as children. They would hide the presents and you had to find them before you could have them. It saved them the cost of wrapping paper and, if you didn't manage to find them all, they could return them to the store and we would be none the wiser. (I actually think that this threat may have been followed through on once or twice. Either that or my brothers stole some of my birthday loot and my parents never caught on.)
When my father and I returned I was allowed to begin my search.
Step one. Check all the places they used last year. This plan of attack yielded me nothing so I sat down to reassess and redeploy.
Step two. Search the common areas like the living room and dining room. Our house wasn't big but it had about a million nooks and crannies. By the time I was done with these first two steps I had wasted about an hour and was still no closer to my birthday presents.
Step Three. My bedroom. This is where I struck gold! Right there in the middle of my desk was a beautiful red box with a dragon on the front! I was immediately enthralled. I had always been a fan of the fantasy genre and dragons and unicorns were my bread and butter. I tore into that package and started flipping through the books inside as fast as I could. When I noticed the dice (and what dice they were!) I was hooked. It wasn't until almost three hours had passed when it occurred to me that I hadn't had a desk the day before. (My parents thought the desk was going to be my big gift that year... Shows what they knew! :P )
It took a few weeks of asking every person that I knew as well as more strangers than I care to count, (note: People give you extremely strange looks when you approach them in a grocery store to ask whether they play Dungeons & Dragons.) but, eventually, I found a group of kids in my neighborhood to play with. (They were all older than me. My parents had missed the line on the box saying "for ages 12 and up")
That first game was amazing! I rolled up a fighter! (Being 8 years old and the youngest one in the group I wasn't expected to understand all the rules for magic yet.) I was strong and not very bright but I had a sword and armor and I was ready to kill things!
Skeletons shattered at the heavy blows I rained down on them. (Remember THAC0?)
The magic mouth was confounded when the wizard, not only knew the answer to it's riddle, but was able to stump it with a riddle in return.
The cleric saved us all when he turned the zombie lurching in our direction while we daringly fended off the group of goblins we had stumbled into.
And when, at last, we found the Dragon, slumbering atop his horde of riches... We all died horrible, screaming deaths the likes of which none of us would ever know again. (After that first time, everyone realized that n00blet characters had no business trying to hit things with negative ACs. If only we had understood THAC0 from the start!)
Dungeons & Dragons. What a perception altering tool to give to an eight year old! For years I was intoxicated by the game. Other games have come and gone through the years but, inevitably, I always return to that one tried and true first love.
Eventually, as time went on, I was introduced to other games. GURPS, Vampire the Masquerade, Shadowrun... The list seems to go on forever as I glance back at my library of gaming books. (Seriously... It's a freaking library. No joke.)
Eventually, I developed an interest for video games.
Oh sure, I had had an Atari 2600, (I still do in fact. Eat your hearts out gamers! :p) but that wasn't a video game. At least not when compared to the new and exciting world of Mario Brothers!
Now, I won't claim to be a gaming guru. I mean at this point I don't even own a television set, let alone a console game. Even so, I was pretty avid as a teenager and even into my early twenties. Still, table-top paper and dice games were where my heart lived.
Thankfully, as I grew and matured (Glares at the audience waiting for the snickering to die down.) so did my gaming style. Hack and slash became a thing of yesteryear and role playing took its place.
Role playing... What a thing of beauty! To become someone else... To sit and envision an entire life! (It was like having my very own baby. You know... Without the diapers, spit-up, crying or, really, any of the other drawbacks to actually having my very own baby.) This was when all those other gaming systems I mentioned became a big draw for me. Games built on social interactions, political stories, and plot or character driven stories as opposed to the old brute force method of gaming.
Now, just so you understand, I am not only a gamer. In high school I found myself involved in theater. Role playing became acting and, eventually, I even went away to college for it. I double majored in Theatrical and Musical performances with minors in English, philosophy and psychology. I was even good enough at doing what I do that they payed for me to be there! (Yup. I have a little pride in that.) What all of that adds up to is that I can become anyone and convince you that I am, indeed, that character. Unfortunately, I am still searching for ways to turn all that into making an actual living. (There is grifting but, well, I just have this aversion to ever going to jail.) But hey, at least I got some skills and had a great time! (Skillz, I haz em!)
And through it all, Dungeons & Dragons was there. Just waiting for those times when I really needed to get back to basics and kill some shit!
When PC games started getting big I was all over it. I had played FFVII but this new, interactive community... The Massively Multiplayer games... This was special! This was like... Animated Dungeons & Dragons! With even MORE people to play with! My first love had come back to me and she loved me still, with all her heart!
I reveled in this new and exciting world, hopping from game to game... Learning mechanics... Memorizing lore... Writing backgrounds and storylines for characters who finally had an enthralled and captivated audience.
By now, I have played so many different MMOs and told so many stories that I couldn't name all of them if I wanted to. Some I have loved; some hated. Some for years on end and others for only a day or two before realizing that I didn't fit in their world or, sometimes, that they didn't fit into mine.
These days, there are actually a couple releases coming up soon that I am genuinely excited about! (Specifically Aion: The Tower of Eternity and the rebirth of World of Warcraft with their new expansion, Cataclysm... If anyone knows whether Blizzard has announced a date yet, let me know.)
Last year, Wizards of the Coast released Dungeons & Dragons 4th edition. Like millions of others, I rushed to the bookstore on release day to buy my copy of the core books and I was genuinely excited. I mean, who wouldn't be beside themselves with glee to see the love of their life grow and become all that it had to potential to be?
That very same week my friends and I began play testing this new system. Things had been realigned in an effort to appeal to a new generation of gamers who had started out with MMOs and were just now discovering the joys of my humble beginnings. Fighters were finally a playable class again! (They had long since became boring for me. There are only so many times I can hit something with a sword before I start feeling like a one trick pony.) With new "powers" driven combat the game was reborn into a world where it could be better appreciated by a much larger audience.
Unfortunately, it has done less well among those of us who have mostly outgrown hack and slash. (Mostly but never entirely :D)
These days, I am far from alone in enjoying the role playing aspect of gaming. This new system is absolutely phenomenal for combat but it is woefully, poorly designed for RP. There is no system in place to effectively progress a character without becoming involved in what, for all intents and purposes, can only be considered grinding.
Le sigh.
I still love Dungeons and Dragons but I think that, for now, maybe a GURPS based campaign is going to better suit my paper and dice group. If that doesn't work for us, maybe I will take a turn at DMing and introduce everybody to the wonderful world of Shadowrun.
In the mean time...
MMO mechanics belong in MMOs and while I will always belong to the table top arena in many ways, I also realize that I belong in the MMO world!
I have come to thrive in the online communities where I can act out my toons. I have met some wonderful people and friends there who have enjoyed meeting my characters and playing their parts in the continuously unfolding stories that I tell with my characters. (And I have equally enjoyed playing my roles in their stories. Yay for symbiotic relationships!)
Eventually, I would like to design worlds and stories for even more people to play and interact in. My mind is constantly churning with ideas for stories, characters and plot twists. What better place for me than lovingly watching over a world of my own devising as thousands, maybe even millions of other players likewise enjoy the wonders and enchantments of my love-child? (Insert maniacal laughter here.)
Obviously, I have to start a good deal smaller than that but I am a tenacious little bugger sometimes (Alright, fine. A big bugger. Happy?) and I am more than willing to work my way there. In fact, I look forward to it!
Now to get started...
You can like train a n00b but he'll still be like a trained n00b.
-Jeremy from Pure Pwnage-
Monday, August 17, 2009
The importance of having a role model...
So... For no particular reason, it occurred to me today that when people grow up they tend to base themselves off of a role-model.
And then I followed that thought through to "Well then, who was my role model?"... Sadly enough it turns out that I dont think that I ever really had one.
I know most people tend to look up to their parents. Boys will grow up to be like their fathers and marry girls like their mothers... Girls will look for boys who can compare to daddy and copy all of moms recipes...
As it turns out that isn't at all what happened with me.
I mean, I do tend to call my mother on occasion for a recipe but in no way do I want a girl like mom... As for my father... Well, I found more instances of "Gods, I hope I can keep myself from ever becoming like that!" than anything else.
So who have I looked up to all my life?...
No one in particular.
I have met many people I admired though and I have tried to emulate the characteristics I found admirable in each of them. Not always with the success I hoped for but the effort and intent was there.
And so I am a hodgepodge of characteristics i found in other people. I took this from this friend or that from the other... Sometimes even just little things from that guy I met the other night who really seemed to have his shit in order in regards to some particular thing...
I think now that I am lacking in some ways because of this.
I was taught manners as a child but never etiquette.
I know everything about performing or working on stage... But I never have really learned to dance.
I know how to think and Im pretty bloody good at it but I have never had anyone there as a constant for long enough to have learned which things to think about.
I am a damned fine friend to those I hold dear and learning how to do that was a long and tiresome process filled with pitfalls and some rather large mistakes.
Frankly, Im pretty good at a lot of things... Outstanding at some and passable at others but, all in all, I can do pretty much what needs to be done.
I think part of where I have made mistakes is that... Not only are certain things in my personal education lacking... But some of the things I have seen in others and thought "I definitely do NOT want that to be me" have never grown into anything but that... There are things that I know beyond doubt that I do not want to be but that doesn't mean that I want to be the opposite. There are just some things I have never found the right answer to.
And that's why people should probably have a role model or two... Someone or someones to look at as a complete individual rather than just collecting parts of a whole.
So, I suppose what it comes down to is that I spent the day sitting in the back of my mind and examining my flaws.
I am not saying that I do not like who I am ... Only that I have realized that there are still parts of me waiting to be created.
Maybe it is time for me to get on that.
You know... Now that I know.
-me-
In closing... A quote that I have been fixated on for the past little bit...
"Where do I belong?
Where do I fit?
Who are my people?
Where do my loyalties lie?
We all choose our tribe.
Its that need to belong... To live within boundaries... Because its scary on the outside... On the fringes.
Some labels are forced on us.
They mark us... Set us apart until we are like ghosts... Just... drifting through other peoples lives.
But only if we let the labels hold.
You can piss your whole life away trying out who you might be.
It's when you've worked out who you ARE... That you can really start to live."
-From Being Human
And then I followed that thought through to "Well then, who was my role model?"... Sadly enough it turns out that I dont think that I ever really had one.
I know most people tend to look up to their parents. Boys will grow up to be like their fathers and marry girls like their mothers... Girls will look for boys who can compare to daddy and copy all of moms recipes...
As it turns out that isn't at all what happened with me.
I mean, I do tend to call my mother on occasion for a recipe but in no way do I want a girl like mom... As for my father... Well, I found more instances of "Gods, I hope I can keep myself from ever becoming like that!" than anything else.
So who have I looked up to all my life?...
No one in particular.
I have met many people I admired though and I have tried to emulate the characteristics I found admirable in each of them. Not always with the success I hoped for but the effort and intent was there.
And so I am a hodgepodge of characteristics i found in other people. I took this from this friend or that from the other... Sometimes even just little things from that guy I met the other night who really seemed to have his shit in order in regards to some particular thing...
I think now that I am lacking in some ways because of this.
I was taught manners as a child but never etiquette.
I know everything about performing or working on stage... But I never have really learned to dance.
I know how to think and Im pretty bloody good at it but I have never had anyone there as a constant for long enough to have learned which things to think about.
I am a damned fine friend to those I hold dear and learning how to do that was a long and tiresome process filled with pitfalls and some rather large mistakes.
Frankly, Im pretty good at a lot of things... Outstanding at some and passable at others but, all in all, I can do pretty much what needs to be done.
I think part of where I have made mistakes is that... Not only are certain things in my personal education lacking... But some of the things I have seen in others and thought "I definitely do NOT want that to be me" have never grown into anything but that... There are things that I know beyond doubt that I do not want to be but that doesn't mean that I want to be the opposite. There are just some things I have never found the right answer to.
And that's why people should probably have a role model or two... Someone or someones to look at as a complete individual rather than just collecting parts of a whole.
So, I suppose what it comes down to is that I spent the day sitting in the back of my mind and examining my flaws.
I am not saying that I do not like who I am ... Only that I have realized that there are still parts of me waiting to be created.
Maybe it is time for me to get on that.
You know... Now that I know.
-me-
In closing... A quote that I have been fixated on for the past little bit...
"Where do I belong?
Where do I fit?
Who are my people?
Where do my loyalties lie?
We all choose our tribe.
Its that need to belong... To live within boundaries... Because its scary on the outside... On the fringes.
Some labels are forced on us.
They mark us... Set us apart until we are like ghosts... Just... drifting through other peoples lives.
But only if we let the labels hold.
You can piss your whole life away trying out who you might be.
It's when you've worked out who you ARE... That you can really start to live."
-From Being Human
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