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Monday, January 18, 2010

Trying to Remember... Part 2...

So, last Friday, I started a post telling you all about a couple wonderful emails I have recollections of from way back when. (Like, 10-12 years ago. :p ) The first part dealt with an email regarding questions people ask in bookstores. For my part, I think the content of that one falls pretty squarely into the "Funny because it's True" category.

This time around, as I continue with that recollection, I am going to mention one that is funny because it isn't true. Some of us might wish it were true... Some might even try to make it true one day. (If you do, I will totally buy the book... Especially if it is number five or eleven!) None-the-less, I hope this one gives you at least a chuckle.

Remember... It's OK to laugh at this. I am the last person you ever have to worry about telling people how sick and twisted their sense of humor is.

So, without further ado, "Children's Titles that Never Quite Made It..."

1. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electical Outlet be Friends?

2. Mommy and Daddy are Getting a Divorce and It's All Your Fault

3. Pop Goes the Hamster! (And other great microwave games!)

4. Why Nobody Likes You

5. Daddy Drinks because You Cry

6. Horton Hires a Ho (by Dr. Seuss)

7. Daddy Hits You to Help You Learn

8. Running with Scissors

9. Things Rich Kids Have But You Never Will!)

10. Curious George and the Busy Intersection

11. You are Different and That Is Bad

12. The Kids Guide to Hitchhiking

13. Strangers Have the Best Candy

14. Some Kittens Can Fly!

15. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

And so on... and so on... ad infinitum.

I suspect that, by now, there are thousands of these out there to be found. I have even seen some with book covers that have been created for them!

What can I say, I am a big fan of The Doctor... I still think a cult in his honor would be the best thing ever!

And with that, I leave you all to add to the list or even go out and find a more complete list for your enjoyment! Talk at you soon!

You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book (Lady Chatterley, for instance), or you take a trip, or you talk with Richard, and you discover that you are not living; that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernation are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death, Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. they picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death.
-Anais Nin-

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