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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Movies You Need to See: GI Joe...

Alright, I get it. This movie was a box office flop. It got some of the worst reviews I have read and even my friends strongly recommend that you stay away from watching it.

I am here to tell you why they are wrong.

Let's start with some of the key elements of the film.

The Concept:

Let's make a full length feature live action film based on a children's cartoon that was, in essence, a half hour long commercial for action figures.

How much can you actually expect from this?... Go into this movie with your expectations set for what it is. It's a nostalgia trip and a commercial. Don't set yourself up for disappointment by going into this expecting cinematic greatness.

The Characters:

Once again... These are based on children's toys. I don't know who the hell people are kidding thinking that they are going to be some kind of deeply three dimensional characterizations. Seriously folks, bear this in mind... GI Joe is a pose-able action figure that didn't even have workable opposable thumbs.

The Cast:

There were only three folks in this movie whom I had ever seen before. Dennis Quiad, who happens to be a wonderful acter who tend to play the worst roles he can find. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun. Enough said. And Christopher Eccleston, the guy who did season one of Doctor Who and had a briefly recurring role on Heroes a while back.

Bearing this in mind, I once again remind you to set your expectations accordingly.

In fairness, there were other faces in there that you will probably recognize but they all add up to the same thing.

The Story:

They are rehashing a franchise here so they have to take characters many of us remember fondly and breathe new life into them by reintroducing them as it they were new. This movie isn't meant to be a terrific story. It is meant to introduce these characters and set the background for the stories that are meant to come after it!

I guess that what I am saying is that this is the best worst movie of all time. Full of cheesy nostalgia and cruddy two dimensional characters with no plot to speak of. It was amazing. Watch it. And if you have already seen it and were disappointed, adjust your expectation and watch it again.

Scarlett: [About Snake Eyes] He doesn't talk.
Duke: Why?
Breaker: He doesn't say.
-GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra-

1 comment:

  1. ". . .didn't even have workable opposable thumbs." That was worth the price of admission! I have no brothers, but I had a sister that loved GI Joe and He-Man. We had a lot of Barbie weddings when she wasn't looking.

    I kind of want to see this movie purely for nostalgia. Thanks Frank, and belated birthday wishes!