I broke it!...

I broke my intrawubbies!

It is funny because it's true. My hand to god.

I know, I know... It makes me cry too.

As it is now, I am sitting at Scooters Coffee House writing this on my laptop. Yay coffee, anyway.

I don't know how I did it but, as it turns out, there is nothing I can do without a tech coming to the house. He is supposed to be there sometime tomorrow but, (my luck being what it is) I am not holding my breath over it.

In the mean time, I have a half dozen different topics in mind to tackle when I get back so you might want to brace yourself for a slurry of postings.

And to those of you who have been missing my smart-assed comments on your postings, I will catch up as soon as I am able.

Our identities have no bodies, so, unlike you, we cannot obtain order by physical coercion. We believe that from ethics, enlightened self-interest, and the commonweal, our governance will emerge.
-A Declaration of the Independence of Cyberspace by John Perry Barlow-

Alright, I'm back... Again...

So, as it turns out, I haven't so much hit a block in writing as I have hit a block in what I am willing to share. I have some thoughts and opinions, it seems, that I have to think a good bit more about before I will be willing to share them.

What I am saying is: I haven't forgotten about you all. I just have a good deal more rewriting and editing to do before I will be able to share what I have written over the past week and change.

That being said, I want to take an opportunity to share something positive with everyone.

I learned a couple weeks ago that a couple of friends of mine have decided to buy a house. Yay them! I hope they realize that this means I will be crashing at their place whenever I am in trouble at home.

Then, just the other day I got a text from the afore mentioned friends letting me know that they had received word that construction on the place they are buying has commenced! Once again I say yay them! Oh yeah, he also mentioned that a building down the road had been blown up by a plane but since it was the IRS, who cares?

Back to the topic at hand...

Because I am a good friend, I will likely make myself available to help them move. Because I can carry a couch by myself, they will most likely take me up on it.

These truths are good and correct... Provided they butter me up on the big day with beer and pizza. (One of the very few instances when I truly enjoy beer is with pizza on moving day.)

Beer! They come in pints!?!

Plus pizza... mmmm...

Equals a damned fun time on moving day. Now, I didn't load this car... But give me enough beer and I am sure I can duplicate the feat!

May-haps one fine day, I will once again own a home of my very own. When that day comes, I want it known that those closest to me will always have a place to crash should they have need. Home grown food will abound and great home cookin' will fill the air with it's sweet perfume.

Hopefully, by then, I will have found the woman who can keep me in the fashion to which I have not yet become accustomed.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fin invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-Dave Barry-

Movies You Need to See: GI Joe...

Alright, I get it. This movie was a box office flop. It got some of the worst reviews I have read and even my friends strongly recommend that you stay away from watching it.

I am here to tell you why they are wrong.

Let's start with some of the key elements of the film.

The Concept:

Let's make a full length feature live action film based on a children's cartoon that was, in essence, a half hour long commercial for action figures.

How much can you actually expect from this?... Go into this movie with your expectations set for what it is. It's a nostalgia trip and a commercial. Don't set yourself up for disappointment by going into this expecting cinematic greatness.

The Characters:

Once again... These are based on children's toys. I don't know who the hell people are kidding thinking that they are going to be some kind of deeply three dimensional characterizations. Seriously folks, bear this in mind... GI Joe is a pose-able action figure that didn't even have workable opposable thumbs.

The Cast:

There were only three folks in this movie whom I had ever seen before. Dennis Quiad, who happens to be a wonderful acter who tend to play the worst roles he can find. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun. Enough said. And Christopher Eccleston, the guy who did season one of Doctor Who and had a briefly recurring role on Heroes a while back.

Bearing this in mind, I once again remind you to set your expectations accordingly.

In fairness, there were other faces in there that you will probably recognize but they all add up to the same thing.

The Story:

They are rehashing a franchise here so they have to take characters many of us remember fondly and breathe new life into them by reintroducing them as it they were new. This movie isn't meant to be a terrific story. It is meant to introduce these characters and set the background for the stories that are meant to come after it!

I guess that what I am saying is that this is the best worst movie of all time. Full of cheesy nostalgia and cruddy two dimensional characters with no plot to speak of. It was amazing. Watch it. And if you have already seen it and were disappointed, adjust your expectation and watch it again.

Scarlett: [About Snake Eyes] He doesn't talk.
Duke: Why?
Breaker: He doesn't say.
-GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra-

By way of further introduction...

This past weekend, I turned 31 years old. Not exactly a milestone but still, I'm amazed I have made it this far. I thought that it might not hurt to ramble on a bit and let all you lovely folks know a bit more about me.

Over the course of the weekend that I realized that I am more anti-social than ever.

My birthday was spent working all morning and then coming home and playing video games and doing some writing. I thought it was a great way to spend a day.

These guys need to hurry up and call me so I can go to work for them. Just sayin'.

I don't particularly like people. (Which makes it bloody hysterical whenever there are customer comments about what great service and connections people receive from me.) As a rule, I would prefer to interact with folks through the computer so that I don't have to worry about whether my facial expressions and inflection match what I am trying to say.

I laugh my ass off about death and, as a rule, find it funny when people fall down or hit their heads. I'm not saying that I can't sympathize about all of that. I do. Only that I prefer my own warped take on things as opposed to forcing myself to conform to what other people think I should think.

I am a dork, geek, nerd and anything else that seems to fit into that category of people. I used to run my very own ghost-hunting group and anyone who thinks that is weird or sick is, clearly, never going to get me.

We were so very much cooler than these guys.

I find things funny. I mean most things. No matter what the situation is, I almost always see humor in it. That seems to make people uncomfortable around me. Remember folks... It isn't that I am laughing inappropriately. It is just that you haven't been exposed to the punchline yet.

My roommate and I share a wonderful and, somewhat, unique relationship. She likes to remind me that I smell funny, dress weird and that nobody likes me. (Owing, in large part, to the facts that I smell funny and dress weird.) I love her dearly and verse-visa and think our relationship is generally more respectful and accepting than most others I have had. And no, for those who are wondering, we do not share any kind of romantic or sexual relationship between ourselves. (So all of you smart, sexy, single girls out there ought to call me! :D )

I prefer the company of a good book (or oftentimes even a bad book) to the company of strangers. I would always prefer the company of my friends but most of them live far away from me. More's the pity.

My friends are the dearest people in the world to me and when Armageddon hits, I expect them all to hide behind me and let me take the brunt of the blast. I love each and every one of them more than life itself and if they don't know that, they should.

Also, just because I don't talk to you every day, don't think you don't still qualify as my friends.

I am a lazy bastard. I work my ass off and get a lot of shit done, primarily, so that I don't have to do it again later.

Anyway...

There you go... Just a little bit off the surface of me for you all to chew on and think over. Hope you all had a great weekend and I will talk at you more as the week progresses.

-Me-

Personality has the power to open many doors, but character must keep them open.
-Elmer G Letterman-

Oh my god!... No seriously... Oh my god!

So there I was, sitting around a table with a group of friends. We are getting ready to play a game that shall remain nameless primarily due to it's name being meaningless to most of those reading this.

The kids have been kicked out of the room. We are all finished with our pre-gaming snack (mmmm pasghetti) and we are ready to go. Suddenly, the new guy (on whom I am reserving judgment until more time has passed) asks the question, "Do you prefer Laurel and Hardy or the Three Stooges?"

Everyone took a deep breath as they prepared to blurt out their answers. For my part, I was still considering because I really think that Abbott and Costello ought to be among the choices.

I never did find out what anyone would have chosen.

"Why not?" you ask, sure now that the purpose for this entry is right around the corner.

Because the little one in the corner suddenly piped up with the question, "Who are Laurel and Hardy?"

This is a picture of Laurel and Hardy. If you didn't recognize them, smack yourself.

Then my brain stopped working. It just shut down! I couldn't even believe the question had been asked, let alone by someone I consider a friend.

An hour or two later, when my brain drive finally kicked in, the first thing I did was immediately turn to her husband and berate him for allowing such a state to persist through their dating. (Never mind however long into their marriage we are now!)

I could go on about this for hours but, instead, I am going to bottom line this for you.

Folks, if you know someone whose knowledge of classics is lacking, fix it. I don't care if it is classic comedy, movies, television, books, comics or anything else that has been around and endured long enough to earn the title of classic. Sit them down and educate them about things. Do it for them. Do it for yourself.

But most of all, do it because, if you don't... I will hurt you. Seriously!

Costello: Look, look, look, you got a pitcher?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you then.
Costello: Well go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: At what time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen, Who is not pitching. Who is on...
Costello: I'll break your arm you say who's on first! I want to know, what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second!
Costello: I don't know!
Both: Third base!
-Who's on First by Abbott and Costello-

I really do think this is important...

I put this up here for everybody a while ago but I think it deserves to be reiterated. Since I forgot what day it was yesterday (I swear it didn't even occur to me until about halfway through today that I was supposed to have posted something.) and since I have nothing particularly pressing to share with everyone, I thought this would be a good time to post this as a reminder.

For those of you who were with me then, watch and listen to this video again. For those of you who have more recently come to follow along with me, please, check this out and really give it your attention.

Since you are here, I am fairly certain you can read so follow along and see where this takes you.



It touches me every time I watch and listen to it. I find myself sitting up straighter as I listen to the second half and wanting to find a way to change the world for the better. I am doing what I can in my little corner. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to see what you can do in yours.

What do you think?

How wonderful is it that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world?
-Anne Frank-

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
-William James-

The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all.
-Leo Rosten-

As it has become my custom, I wanted to leave you with a quote to think on. Since I couldn't decide on one in particular, I had to narrow it down to three choices. Which one do you think I should have gone with? Or do you have an even better one you would have chosen?